Wednesday, 28 August 2013

How to Get Your Ex Back With Minimum Effort

Read my article published in the Daily Record HERE

Saturday, 24 August 2013

When To Confront Your Cheating Partner

Have you just recently learned that your partner is or has been cheating on you? If you have concrete proof, you may want to confront him or her right away. Of course, it is your decision to do so, but there are a few important points that you will want to take into consideration first. After all, calling out a cheating partner is a major step, but is it one that you are ready to take?

When looking to confront a cheating spouse, it is important to know that you can do so at just about any point in time. If you are ready to confront your partner now, go ahead and do so. If you would prefer to wait, like until you are ready to start divorce or separation proceedings, be sure to wait. Although it may be difficult to stand the sight of your significant other, it is important to proceed with caution.

One of the best times to confront your other half is when you have concrete proof. Did you see them cheating? Were they having sex or just out to dinner? What about documentation? Do you have pictures or video of your spouse being inappropriate with another? Do you have credit card receipts or cell phone bills that point towards an affair? If you do, you may be ready to confront your spouse. Unfortunately, too many men and women make the mistake of jumping the gun.

Although there is a good chance that you may choose to forgive your cheating spouse, you may also wish to end the relationship. Until you are ready to start divorce or separations proceedings, it is a wise idea to not say anything. Many men and women feel comfort and peace of mind when they are first able to get their life in order before they spring a divorce on their husband or wife or tell them they are leaving.

Another sign that you may be ready to confront your cheating partner is if you are ready to leave the home if you have to. With that being said, it is important to not leave in certain circumstances. Is the home in your name? Do you help to pay the bills or do you pay most of them? Do you have children? If so, you may want to refrain from uprooting your whole life. Instead, make your cheating spouse leave. Just know that they may refuse to do so right away.

As previously stated, it is a wise idea to get your affairs in order before confronting a cheating partner and asking them for a divorce or separation. You will want to focus on your finances. Are you in good financial standing? Does most of your money belong to your spouse or is it in their control? If so, you may want to wait. Unless you have a good and secure network of friends and family members, it is important to make sure that you can financially survive on your own, especially if you have children.

The best time to confront a cheating spouse is when you know it is safe to do so. Does your husband or wife have violent tendencies? If so, be sure to keep the kids away. Next, consider confronting them in public or have a trusted friend or relative on hand. For your safety, never confront a cheating spouse who has been drinking or who has used drugs. This is likely to increase the chance of violence. Confronting your spouse and ending your relationship should be important to you, but please don’t put yourself at risk.

As you can see, when confronting a cheating partner there are times when it is best to wait. Always be sure to follow your best judgment. If the time doesn’t seem right, it likely isn’t.  

Thursday, 22 August 2013

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are far from easy. It is a sacrifice.

You have to be able to get over the loneliness caused by the distance and the paranoia caused by knowing your partner is so far away.

Once you have decided to get into a long distance relationship then congratulate yourself as it takes a great amount of maturity to be able to face this struggle.

Long distance relationships are full of twists and turns. You have to be patient in waiting for the time when you and your partner will meet again. You will spend most of your time missing him or her and wondering what he or she is doing right that very moment as well as spending memorable events in your life without him or her beside you.

As I said long distance relationships are never easy. But if both of you gets through the hardships then it is all worth it. Once that moment comes when you see each other again, the pains are just a distant memory. However, the pain of saying bye-bye again is never far away.

Long distance relationships are not all doom and gloom though. I have endured two long distance relationships and despite mine not working out I do know other couples who got over the obstacles and after a lengthy time apart they are now living together and are happily married.

There are important factors in maintaining healthy long distance relationships:

First and foremost both partners involved in long distance relationships should have mutual feelings for each other. You have to really love each other and see a future together. If you are both not on the same page and are both not mutually committed to each other then it will just fizzle out.

You also have to trust your long distance partner and have faith in them that they are not seeing other people behind your back. Distance can cause people to over analyse everything and paranoia can set in leaving you to worry that your partner is with someone else. You have to be sure that they are exclusive to you. You have to be very secure in your partnership.

Also, communication is vital for a long distance relationship to survive. Make sure you call each other at least once a day. Using Skype is the best way to say hello nowadays as you get to see each other which will make the distance not seem as bad.

Also planning ahead can ease the stress of being apart for so long. Make sure both of your diaries are filled with days that you have agreed to see each other so that you are both looking forward to being with each other again. Daydreaming about fun times ahead really does help.

Lastly, both of you should be mature enough to handle long distance relationships. They just won't work with people who are childish and who throw their toys out of the pram when times get tough. It will just drive your partner crazy.

Long distance relationships can be fun and adventurous and if the pair of you are are committed and in love then what are a few miles between both of you.

There is never a truer saying; Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

Monday, 19 August 2013

How to Tell if Your Man is Cheating on You

Read my article published in the Daily Record HERE

Saturday, 17 August 2013

Find Out if Your Woman is Right For You?

It's great to have a long term relationship even if you do have your ups and downs with your partner.

Maybe you have met a wonderful woman who makes you happy but have you ever wondered if she is the right girl for you?

Many couples break up after a long time together because they finally realise that they are not compatible with each other. Even worse is the fact couples that are married get divorced because they are not suitable with each other and didn't realise this earlier.

So, if you are in a relationship right now stop for a second and analyse it.

Even if things are going well you have to think if she is the right girl for you in the longrun, the one with whom you want to spend all your life with.

How do you know if she is the right one? Here are some things that might help you:

Does she make you feel happier, makes you smile more, helps you every time you need it, is she a person you can trust, someone you see you can have a future with?

Is you woman focused on you? Make sure you are definitely not second place in her life.

Make sure she loves you, you can see this from her attitude; observe the way she looks at you and treats you everyday, how she speaks with you.

Eye contact it is also very important, so watch out because if she doesn't have the courage to look directly in your eyes when you talk with her, something is wrong there.

She has to be smart, intelligent; this is a kind of woman who wont let you get bored, because she will constantly surprise you. Also it is nice to have someone you can talk to who is on your level.

It is very important to be sexually compatible with you; this means that there has to be an undeniable attraction between you two, and you are able to communicate your desires verbally; you have to please each other in the bedroom.

She has to have patience in your relationship; so test her; if she asks you to take her out to dinner tell her that now it is not possible because you don't have money so she has to wait until pay day; see how she reacts. If she understands then that means she loves you. If she gets angry then that usually means that she is with you only for your money.

Is she beautiful? This doesn't mean that she has to be Miss Universe, just someone who wants to look good for you and for herself. She has to be someone who you can be proud to be with.

She likes you the way you are. She doesn't try to control you, doesn't insist you give up your nights out with guys; she allows you to be yourself.

She respects you. This means that she would never cause scenes in public in front of your family and friends and wait to discuss matters with you in private. Also, she is able to listen to your opinion even if she doesn't agree with what you say.

She is willing to sacrifice certain things for you. She is willing to move in your old knackered furniture into her flat, wants to meet your friends and she is wiling to try new things even if she never wants to do them again.

She has to have her own personality and opinions; to be able to enjoy time away from you, while still missing you. An independent woman is what you need.

She is able to get along with the most important people from your life like your mum, dad, brothers, sisters and also friends.

You like the way she handles things; you like the way she sees the world, how she thinks, and her thoughts actually interest you.

She is friendly and respectful, exactly how you like. You like the way she treats other people, is kind with strangers and animals.

Now, all you have to do is to think if your girlfriend meets some of these requirements and to decide if she is the right girl for you.

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Are Online Relationships Cheating - Yes Or No

If your significant other seems to be spending a significant amount of time online, you may wonder what is going on and are online relationships cheating? For the most part that depends on you and your relationship. If you and your partner are OK with the other having a lot of online friends, regardless of gender, then it's not cheating to the two of you.

If, on the other hand, one or both of you considers a deep connection with another person either online or off to be cheating than yes it is. You and your partner define your own relationship.

The internet, and all the social sites that are constantly popping up, have made it a lot easier to find other people to connect with. That can be a great thing. It's fun to reconnect with old friends you haven't seen or heard from in years. The problems can come when your partner seems to enjoy their online friendships more than they like spending time with you.

While it may not be technically cheating, it can definitely put a serious strain on your relationship. If your partner is forming an emotional attachment with someone else online, that doesn't leave a lot of room for the two of you. Your relationship can start to get pretty crowded if that starts to happen.

If you believe that your partner is spending too much time online the best course of action, in most cases, is to talk to them about it. The operative word here is 'talk'. Not scream, nag, or accuse. Just explain to them that you miss them and you don't feel like the two of you are connecting the way you used to.

Suggest some time when the two of you can get together one on one. If you present this request to your partner in a calm, loving way you can tell a lot about what they're really thinking based on their response. For example, if you aren't accusing your partner of doing anything wrong yet they still get defensive it could very likely mean they have a guilty conscience, maybe they really are doing something they know they shouldn't be.

If they get angry that you've asked them to cut back on the amount of time they spend online than it's highly likely that your partner has 'met' someone new. Most people would consider this a form of cheating even if the two people haven't met in person. No one wants their partner to be thinking about someone else too often. If that is the case your relationship could be in real trouble and in most cases it's best to try to address the issue head on and see if the two of you want to work it out.

If you're wondering; are online relationships cheating, then it's possible you already have a problem with your relationship. Try to talk to your partner and find out where they are coming from. If either you or your partner is having romantic thoughts about another person, that's never a good sign.

Sunday, 11 August 2013

Tips And Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

If you're worried you or your partner are getting sucked into an emotional affair and you want to know what warning signs to look for then read on.

 An emotional affair can sneak up on anyone. No one really goes looking for an emotional affair; they just find themselves feeling a connection to a person.  Usually that connection isn't physical, at least not at first, and that is why it can be so easy to not realise what is happening until its too late.

It's much more difficult to break off a relationship once you start to have feelings for the other person than it is if the relationship is just purely sexual.  That's why in some ways an emotional affair can be worse than a sexual relationship.

Here are some tell tale signs that you are on the brink of having an emotional affair:

1.  If you find yourself defending the relationship by saying 'We're just friends', chances are you're on your way to something more.  Think about it for a moment, when you're talking about a friend who you have no attraction to at all you don't ever feel the need to defend that relationship, do you?   Even in the early stages of an emotional affair, there is a part of you that knows what's going on and that's why you will feel the need to defend the relationship.

2.  If you're spending time thinking about that person that is a real danger sign.  Again, as a benchmark, think of one of your other friends.  Do you think about them as often as this new person in your life?  If the answer is no, you have to be careful of what is developing between you and your new crush.

3.  Do you almost feel like your life is on hold until you're with your new friend?  If you find that you can't wait until the next time you can see them or that you don't even want to go anywhere unless you know they'll be there, then there is a very good chance that what you're feeling is a lot more than just friendship.

4. If you are opening up to this person more than you are your spouse or boy/girlfriend than that is another sign of a problem.  Your spouse is the person you should be able to talk to about anything.  If you find that you can tell this new person in your life things that you can't, or won't, tell your spouse you are getting in way too deep.

5.  If you find that you are making excuses just to spend time with your new friend alone, then you are well on your way to committing adultery.  Manufacturing reasons to be alone with this person is a sign that deep inside you want the relationship to be more than just friends.

If you, or someone you love shows warning signs of an emotional affair, don't wait, take action right away.  It's not easy to end a relationship when you are in love with the other person, that's why it's best to end it before it really gets started.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Relationships And Cheating: Does It Happen To Everybody?

It's a sad reality, people cheat on their partners. 

Just ask gorgeous Kelly Brook who this week is facing the devastation that her rugby hunk boyfriend Danny Cipriani cheated on her with a string of women. You can't hardly read a paper or watch TV these days without hearing about some actor, singer, politician or sports figure making a public apology for an affair. But can you avoid this type of relationship? Is it possible to have a relationship with no cheating, or do relationships and cheating go hand in hand?

The good news is that not everyone cheats. As a matter of fact, there are lots of people who will stay faithful to their partner for their whole life. The important thing to remember is that cheating is a choice; it's not some biological need.

Our society tends to have a double standard between men and women when it comes to sexuality, even in this modern day and age it's still there. While society tends to turn a blind eye to the indiscretions of a man and in some ways even condones that type of behavior, women are still made to feel as though they are a slut if they have multiple partners while men are referred to as players. 

So if a man, or woman, tries to say they cheated because they couldn't help it, you know that is not true and there is just something wrong with that particular person. Once you realise that, you can end the relationship and move on to someone who has more respect for themselves and for you and your relationship.

In many cases the warning signs will be there very early in the relationship and once they've been spotted you can save yourself an awful lot of pain by ending things right then and there. For example, if you are starting to date someone who you know cheated in their last relationship, what makes you think they won't do the same thing to you?

Many people will be very delusional at this point and convince themselves that their lover cheated in their past relationship because something was wrong in the relationship and since you are so wonderful and your relationship is so wonderful they don't need to cheat on you.

That line of thinking couldn't be more wrong. There's actually quite a bit of evidence to suggest that men are actually more prone to cheat on a wonderful loving woman more quickly. Why? Simple, because on some level he thinks that she's so in love with him that he can do whatever he wants to and she will put up with it. And, unfortunately, that's often true.

People also tend to cheat because they aren't getting the feeling of love that they need. One of the best ways to greatly diminish the possibility that your lover will ever cheat on you is to pick someone who has a lot of self confidence. I don't mean a stupid, fake macho swagger which is really just a sign that that person is very insecure, but I mean someone who knows who they are and likes who they are. That type of person would be far less likely to need to have a harem of women telling him how great he is. He'd be much more likely to be content with just his wife telling him how great he is. 

Just keep these tips in mind and remember that relationships and cheating do not have to go hand in hand. 

The best deterrent to cheating is finding the right partner.