Ten tips to surviving a holiday with your partner

Holiday season is well under way and for even the strongest of couples this time of the year can put pressure on your partnership. 

Going away to the sunshine for a couple of weeks with your boyfriend or girlfriend is dramatically different from romantic evenings in after a hard day at work, that's because you will be spending 24 hours a day together. And unfortunately some couples just don't survive the time away together. Divorce lawyers report a rise in separations in September once the holiday season has finished due to the pressure put on relationships during vacation time.

So in order to make your trip a bit smoother here are TEN tips to follow while you are away:

First you have to agree on what you both want from a holiday. One of you might be a sun worshiper who just wants to lounge about and get a tan while the other one might want to sightsee. It's important you both have your needs met and decide how you can spend your time together.

While on holiday decide what you are doing the day before as you don't want to waste the following day discussing the various trips and activities you can get up to. By being organised you take the stress out of the situation.

You will have to learn to compromise more on holiday than when you are at home that's because there are a million decisions to be made every day like where to eat, where to visit, who is carrying the beach towels etc. Take the other persons viewpoint on board, don't just dismiss them.

Communication is so important when you are on holiday. If you don't want to do something or you would really like to do something then just say so. Your partner isn't a mind reader.

Limit the time you spend on your smartphones checking Facebook, work emails and sending texts. You are supposed to be on holiday with your partner so show them some respect. Instead check them while they are in the shower or in the swimming pool. Just remember you are on holiday though.

Don't feel like you have to spend every second of the day together. It's ok to do some separate activities. If your boyfriend wants to play pool volleyball while you relax and read a book then that's cool. Or you could want to shop instead of sightsee with him. If you do different things then its all good as it will give you something to talk about over dinner.

Don't expect one person in the relationship to take responsibility for all the holiday documents such as passports, money and travel insurance. Remember you are supposed to be a team so don't let one person take it all on board as that will just cause problems.

Be responsible for your own packing. Don't expect your partner to buy the sun cream or pack the beach towels. If you want to take them on holiday then get them yourself.

Why not let one of you choose the activities for the day and where you eat. But remember you can't moan about it because you will have a turn to decide what to do the following day.

Girls don't moan about feeling too fat in your summer clothes. Eat and drink what you want on holiday and lose the weight when you get home. Guys don't get wasted every night just because you are on holiday. Drink but remember it's not a guys holiday you are on.

Going on holiday together can be tough. Many couples go away and they realise they have major problems in their relationship, some of which they just can't fix. 

However, just remember that the pair of you WILL argue on holiday no matter how strong you are as a couple but that doesn't mean your relationship is on the rocks, its just natural.

For the majority of couples going on holiday is a happy time filled with memories and laughs you can look back on for years to come.

Just relax, enjoy it and go with the flow!

You've Got Your Man So Why Have You Let Yourself Go?

Let's face it, all the majority of women really want is to meet an amazing man, get a ring on that finger and settle down.

It can take years of searching and numerous failed relationships and heartache to get to the one person who is your soulmate and who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

That's why I can't believe it when a lot of women get the man of their dreams then they let their appearance slip or stop trying to make an effort.

So many women get the diamond and then think they don't have to try anymore. Don't get me wrong, some men are like this too. They snare their woman and then they put 30lbs on and decide they just want to watch telly or play computer games every night. That's not on either.

However, it's the women I am concerned about at this precise moment. 

I just don't understand that in order to get a man you have to put effort into the way you look and the way you conduct yourself only to let it go when you meet someone. Have a bit of pride in yourself. Remember he didn't meet you wearing jogging pants, Ugg boots and your hair scraped back in a pony tail with no makeup on. 

So many women complain about how their husbands or long term partners aren't paying them as much attention as they used to, or they aren't wanting to have sex as much with them or take them out socialising. Well a lot of the time it's because he has forgotten what the woman he fell in love with actually looks like.

Now I'm not saying you have to look like Barbie and be all dolled up every time you are with him.

What I am saying is:

Make sure your hair is washed and brushed when you are with him. Go to the hairdressers every 7 weeks to maintain your style.

Watch your personal hygiene- put on some nice perfume or deodorant.

Put a bit of makeup on. Some lip gloss and blusher will be fine if you are not going out to dinner. Go for a fake tan now and again.

Watch your weight. When you are in a relationship it is so easy to become comfortable and eat everything in sight. But remember he probably met you a few dress sizes smaller so be careful not to balloon out of control.

Get out of those jogging pants or jeans and make a bit of effort by wearing a skirt or dress once in a while.

Don't always go to bed with your old worn pyjamas on- get a sexier nightdress or even better don't wear anything on occasion.

Buy yourself some nice underwear as this will make you feel a bit more confident and sexy.

Remember to shave and keep those body hairs at bay. No man wants to share a bed with a hairy woman.

At least once a week why don't you try and initiate sex.

Get back to seeing your friends or continuing the hobby that you let slide. Men love an independent woman.

Get back to putting effort into your relationship- suggest things to do and see.

Don't nag your partner, this is a huge turn off.

Now I know a lot of women reading this will be screaming at the computer: "I've got two kids, I don't have bloody time to look good everyday." 

Well I'm sorry to say that you should make time because your partner deserves you to put some effort in.

As with anything in life if you want something to work then you have to put some effort in and that includes your relationship.

If you look like crap then don't get annoyed at your man when he eyes up a pretty girl who's walking down the street.

He made a commitment to be with you but it's up to you to make sure he doesn't forget the awesome, gorgeous, independent woman he fell in love with.

When is the Right Time to Say 'I Love You'?

If you are in a relationship and your partner rocks your world then the first time they tell you that they 'love you' is one of the most special moments of your life. It's the moment you will treasure as it's the point in the relationship where you get the validation that you have been so eagerly waiting for: They feel the same way as you do about them.

So when is the right time to say 'I love you' and who should utter the amazing words first?

Well every relationship is different. Some couples wait a long time before making that kind of emotional commitment while others are prepared to let their true feelings known within the first few months of a new relationship if it feels right. 

You have to make sure of your true feelings and if it is actually love you are feeling because once you tell your partner you love them then there is no turning back.

Sometimes while dating we may have mixed emotions. Feelings may be just infatuation or admiration or lust. These are synonymous to love. At times the best thing is to say nothing at all as you really have to be sure how you feel about the other person.

There is a certain kind of risk involved in saying I love you. Timing is everything when confessing your love to someone. You have to gauge if their feelings are as strong for you while trying to read their body language as you weigh up if your relationship is strong and happy enough to merit the 'L' word. If you tell someone you love them at the right time then you can take the relationship to the next level which is an awesome feeling as you know your partnership has a future you want to build on.

When you tell someone you love them you have to be aware that this in itself is a huge commitment you are making to the relationship as it's basically you telling your partner that you are willing to share yourself with them, cherish them, and let them into your life fully-warts and all.

So who in the relationship should say 'I love you' first?

Well I'm a bit of a traditionalist to be honest when it comes to romance and relationships. That's why I firmly believe it should be the man in the relationship who says 'I love you' first. 

I'm sorry girls but I don't know many relationships that have lasted long when the girl blurts it out first. As we know men are so different emotionally when it comes to love and romance and it usually takes them a little longer to work out how they really feel about someone. 

If a woman tells her man she loves him first it can startle him and send him into a panic that you want marriage and kids so soon into the relationship which may lead him to walk away from you. Also, if a woman says it first then then guy might say it back to her without really meaning that he loves her. 

If a man tells you that he loves you first then you really know it's the truth instead of a knee-jerk reaction. I fell in love with my partner incredibly quickly but I kept my mouth shut until he decided the time was right to tell me exactly how he felt about me. Now i didn't have long to wait before we both knew we were on the same page but if it doesn't happen as quickly for you then don't get down about it, just bide your time. Girls don't kill your relationship before it's even begun by being too clingy and confessing your love too quickly. Let your relationship breathe and let it take its natural course. If he loves you then he will tell you, but only when he is ready. 

To say I love you is exciting but when you say so be ready to face any answer.

Remember that all love stories don’t have a happy ending. When you come to the moment it may be daunting but don’t shy away from doing it as long as you are being sincere and honest with your partner.

After you say 'I love you' and you get the response from your partner that you were dreaming off then in my opinion that's when the fun begins. There is no more game playing and second guessing how your partner feels about you. It's so refreshing when the pair of you feel the same about each other as it brings you closer together and you both begin to open up more and get to know each other even better.

However, once you profess your love to someone please don't think the hard part is over because this is when the relationship really gets going and gains momentum.

It's important you continue to make sure your partner knows how you feel about them and they are aware of how special a person they are to you. Tell them you love them as much as you can depending on your personality. I was very lucky to have been raised within a family that told each other every night before bed that we loved each other. This is a behaviour I carried into my long term relationship- my partner knows every day how much I love him.

So boys if you love your partner then let her know!

10 Fun Things Do With Your Partner

It seems the longer you've been dating your partner, the harder it can be to keep things exciting, fun and different. You've probably done the same old thing over and over again for some time and are looking for something different to do with each other.

If you are looking for fun things do with your partner then here are 10 suggestions to put the excitement back into your relationship:

Exercise together. There are two great reasons for pulling on your gym gear and getting hot and sweaty with your partner; first of all by exercising together you will tone up and you will get the 'happy chemicals' pumping through your body. But the best reason is that research has shown couples who exercise together have longer, healthier relationships than those who don't.

Spend the day in bed together. Remember when you both got together I bet you would spend the entire weekend in bed just being naughty and chilling out with each other. Well if it has been a while since you've done this then what are you waiting for? Grab a copy of the good lovers guide and try out some new positions. Then order pizza and curl up and watch movies together. 

Cook dinner or bake together. This is a great way to spend time with each other by experimenting in the kitchen while having fun chatting away while sipping a glass of wine or a beer as you listen to some music. It's really relaxing and you have some great food to look forward to at the end. 

Go for a picnic. I love jumping in the car and finding a lovely spot to sit and have lunch at. Go to the supermarket and buy a picnic blanket and grab some great finger food and head off to the beach, local lake or a park. I'm lucky to live across the road from a gorgeous park and my partner and I often head over there and eat great food while chatting or reading a book.

Go to a sports game together. Let's say your partner is into sports. That's actually one of the easiest things to plan because you can just get them tickets to see their favourite team. If you have the money you could even get tickets for an out of town game and make a night or weekend of it.

Head to a museum or exhibition with them. Most cities, and even very small towns, have some sort of museums and exhibitions you could go to. If you want to find something different and fun things do with your partner you can spend a little time exploring what is offered right in your own home town. Many of these attractions are free or very low cost so even if you are on a limited budget you can still do it.

Go for a walk or a bike ride. Get your comfy shoes on and head off into the countryside or your nearest beach and go for a walk together. It's great being in the great outdoors and experiencing new things together. You could always hire a bike instead. Where I live there is a canal path and my partner and I regularly cycle for miles on it.

Go ice skating together. In the winter the two of you could go down to your local ice rink, most will have skate rentals, and go skating. Afterwards head back home and enjoy a quiet night by the fire with a nice meal.

Go learn a different language together. If you can afford night classes at your local college or university to learn a different language then awesome; but if you can't then buy some audio CDs from the Internet and spend a couple of hours a week learning the language together. The best bit is working towards booking a holiday where you can use your new found language skills and put them to the test.

Go on an open top bus tour. Most cities have them and they are a great way of getting out and about together and seeing sights you probably didn't know existed in your local area.

It's not really that hard to think of fun and unique things to do with your partner but it may take a little time and the ability to think outside of the box. 

The first step when trying to figure out fun things do with your partner is to think about their interests and try to find activities that are in line with those interests. 

You may not always pick out activities that they like, but they sure will appreciate all the time and effort you put into it.

Time now to go have some fun!

Are Modern Marriages in a Bad Way?

Millions of Brits are stuck in unhappy marriages but will not walk away for fear of financial or emotional hardship, a report revealed this week.

A study of 2,000 married people revealed a fifth feel ‘trapped’ and would end their marriage today if their future financial security was assured.

Meanwhile one in ten feels they are stuck in a 'loveless' marriage and 15 per cent of the study wished they'd married someone else.

When asked how their marriage could improve men were most likely to show frustrations with their sex life, while women were more concerned their marriage involved too little fun and too much worry over money.

The research, which was commissioned by lawyers Slater & Gordon, revealed the full extent of doubt present in modern marriages - one third of the women studied had at one time considered ending their marriage.

Women were most likely to cite a fear being unable to cope financially as their biggest reason for not separating, while men were most worried about the impact it would have on the family.  

Amanda McAlister, head of family law at Slater & Gordon, which carried out the study, said: "There is still a prevailing attitude in society that you should stay together no matter how unhappy you are.

"Obviously divorce should always be the last course of action a couple takes but the idea of hundreds of couples staying together despite being miserable because they worry about struggling financially is really sad to hear.

"Marriage when it works is fantastic but when it doesn't it can be a terrible strain on both parties as well as any children involved.

"My work as a family lawyer for the last 15 years has seen both men and women that have stayed in relationships that were loveless for years longer than they wanted because they felt guilty or scared to be alone.

"But the reality is that divorce can be a liberating experience and studies have shown  that children are happier if their parents are happy.”

Sadly, one quarter of married people are no longer ‘in love’ with their partner and three in ten have considered ending their marriage or spending time apart.

Arguments about money and rows over other family members were the most likely factors to drive a wedge between couples.

Not having the courage to split from their partner renders one in ten married people in a state of inaction, while men were more likely to admit that a fear of being left alone was the motivation for staying put.

More than half the study felt their partners take them for granted, with a little less than three years the average length of time before people felt things started to slide.

One third of married people genuinely doubt whether their marriage will last forever and a fifth feel the spark has completely faded.

Only four in ten say their marriage has turned out as they expected it to and when asked to score their marriage, 71 per cent was the average.

Just 65 per cent of married people felt they got married to the right person, while a third felt there was someone else that got away or that they wished it had worked out with.

One in four married parents sometimes feels they only stay together for the sake of the children.

While a fifth of the 2,000 married people studied said they hadn’t always been faithful to their partner.

Perhaps that’s why only 55 per cent of the study felt marriage was for life.

And 29 per cent said they wouldn’t advise young people today to follow in their footsteps and get married.

Amanda McAlister said: " Leaving an unhappy marriage no longer brings the same stigma it used to, people understand it's often the best solution for all parties involved.

"My advice to anyone feeling trapped or unhappy is to seek legal advice as early as possible before making a decision either way.

"Get all the information you need beforehand and a good lawyer will always be able to put you in touch with mediators and counsellors to make sure the process is as painless as possible.

"With the right team behind you there is no need for you to find yourself struggling financially or feeling scared. "

10 Reasons Why Having Sex Will BOOST Your Health

We’ve been lucky over the last week or so that the sun has been scorching. As temperatures rise outside they often soar in the bedroom too as our moods change and we start to flash more flesh, plus we get the care free feeling that we experience on holiday.

However, if your partner is not up for getting down and dirty in the bedroom then you could remind them that having sex is awesome for their health.

A study from the Royal Edinburgh Hospital says two sexy bedroom sessions a week can turn back the clock and make you look SEVEN years younger.

Below are 10 other reasons why you should have sex TODAY:

1)      Having sex burns calories and helps to tone you up and lose weight. A thirty minute session burns 100 calories. Who need s the gym? Get under the covers and work on those love handles.

2)      Regular sex makes you more attractive to the opposite sex as your body releases more pheromones when you get in the sexy mood. The more sex you have with your partner the desire to bed them again will be incredible due to those sexy chemicals you release.

3)      If you tell your partner you can’t have sex because you have a headache then I’m afraid you won’t like this fact. Having sex can get rid of the pain in your head because there is an influx of the hormone oxytoctin. Plus you feel good after sex which can also help.

4)      Regular sex also helps levels of depression. An American study by psychologist Dr Gordon Gallup showed women who are in a long-term, sexually active relationship are less likely to suffer with depression than those women who are going without sex. When we have sex we release the ‘happy hormone’ called Serotonin.

5)      Sexy time also strengthens your body’s defences against colds and flu. If you have sex at least twice a week then research has shown that improves an antibody in our system called immunoglobulin A which protects you from the sniffles.

6)      Bedroom activity can help smooth out your wrinkles. That’s because when we have sex we produce the hormone oestrogen which helps plump out our skin and reduces fine lines.

7)      Sex three times a week can halve your chances of having a heart attack or stroke, according to research from the Queens University of Belfast.

8)      Plenty of sex boosts your self-esteem and it gives you a healthy glow. Those who have sex a lot feel better about how they look and how they feel about their bodies. If you have sex before you go to work it also sets you up nicely for the day.

9)      Sex can help you sleep so if you have insomnia you know what you need to do. We all release the hormone oxytoctin before we orgasm which gives us the feel good factor which can lead us to be relaxed and feel sleepy.

10)   And finally, research from Australia claims having sex at least three times a week can lengthen your life as those people in the sexy mood were 50% less likely to die for any medical reason than those who orgasm only once a month.

So what are you waiting on? Dive under the covers and boost your health.

NEVER use Social Networking to Get REVENGE on your EX

I cringed when I read this week that the estranged wife of celebrity chef Paul Hollywood has been Tweeting sarcastic comments about her ex-husband and posting pictures online allegedly mocking his new flame.

It's only natural that Alexandra Hollywood is hurting after her 15 year marriage ended in May. However, she really needs to get a grip of herself and if you are in her situation at the moment then I am afraid you need to give yourself a shake too.

Blasting your ex on Facebook and Twitter just makes you look stupid and bitter. And trust me, when the dust settles and you finally move on with your life you will look back and regret every single word you posted in cyber space. Once you put something out there on the internet it is there forever, ready to haunt you when you get into a new relationship or when you go for a job interview and your new boss Googles you.

JUST STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD AND CHILL OUT!

It's the worst feeling when someone ends a relationship when you don't want it to end. But offloading your bile and bitterness online is the last thing you should do. You will feel good for five minutes but then that satisfaction will soon turn to anxiety and emptiness.

Also, don't continually keep looking at their social networking profile; what are you really going to gain from this apart from heartache and anxiety that your partner has moved on and is happy without you and probably with someone else.

Your relationship ended for a reason. That person wasn't right for you and one day you will see that when you move on to someone who really is your soulmate.

The first few months of a break up are really hard emotionally and you have to get used to life on your own again. You will heal and you will move on and by moving on I mean to better things and a better person than who you were previously with.

By looking at your ex-partners Facebook or Twitter you are focussing on your past instead of moving forward with your future. You will never find someone new by cyber stalking your ex.

The best thing to do is DELETE them from your Facebook. BLOCK them from Twitter and DELETE their mobile number from your phone. Also DELETE all the email they have sent you from your inbox too.

And I would suggest when you are getting over a break up DO NOT DRINK. Alcohol can lead you to do things that your sober head would tell you to steer clear of. By that I mean contacting your ex and going mental at them.

The best way to get back at your ex is to become HAPPY. Move on with your life and embrace all the good things that are coming your way.

Leave them in your past where they belong!

Five Interesting Ways to Kiss Your Partner

Kissing is incredible. It’s passionate, sexy but also very intimate and it can bring two people together in ways other sexy moments can’t. However, many realise that they kiss their boyfriend or girlfriend the same way that they kissed them when they first met them. It is important for couples to switch things up a little bit as it helps to keep the relationship fresh and new.

Use these five interesting ways to kiss your boyfriend/ girlfriend to help bring excitement and passion into your relationship:

Add Some Ice:  Couples are used to the warm feeling that they get when they kiss each other. Try to change this up a little bit by kissing your partner after eating something cold. Ice, ice cream and frozen drinks can help to chill your lips, giving your partner a new and interesting sensation.

From Behind: The usual kiss comes from the front, as couples approach each other and tilt their heads for the kiss. One interesting way to change up your kissing habits is to approach your partner from behind. Kiss them on the shoulder or the back of the neck; this new sensation is often seen as romantic and sexy.

Tease them: Kissing can be an incredible way to tease your partner. Kiss them passionately, and then back off. Kiss them a few times, and then kiss other areas of their body, before stopping. Your passionate kisses, and the sudden stop to them, will leave them begging for more.

Make it Taste Good: One of the easiest ways to surprise your partner ladies is to try out flavored chap sticks and lipsticks. Your boyfriend will get a taste as he kisses you, offering a new sensation to the usual action of the kiss.

Make it Passionate When it Usually Isn't: One of the easiest ways for couples to change things up is to do things in unexpected ways and unexpected places. Try to kiss your partner passionately at times when you usually wouldn't. If you are saying goodbye, pass on the simple peck on the cheek and go in for a passionate kiss. When your partner comes up to give you a peck as you work at a home office or cook dinner, turn around and give them a passionate kiss. These random moments of passion are unexpected and exciting.

While your partner may find some of these different kisses sexy and romantic, they may find others to be awkward and uncomfortable. You need to think about your partner and their personality before you try out these different interesting ways to kiss them.

The perfect kiss can often be one of the most romantic things that you can do. So what are you waiting on? Give it a go!

Bad Reasons to Get into a Relationship

When getting into a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind and you have to do it for all the right reasons.

However, many people jump into relationships for a number of WRONG reasons and unfortunately they end up failing which usually means heartache for you or the poor person you have shacked up with.

So here are a few common mistakes:

1) Many get into a relationship because they are lonely. Many women hang on to

their boyfriends out of a sheer fear of loneliness, even if their boyfriends don’t treat them well, are abusive, immature and disrespectful. A lot of women think that a bad boyfriend is better than no boyfriend at all. This is a huge mistake and is best avoided. Go out with your friends and enjoy yourself instead.

2) A lot of people get into a relationship out of peer pressure. As more and more of your friends find boyfriends and they get deeper into their relationships, and some even get engaged, you may often feel sad or depressed as to why you are not able to experience the pleasure they do. You may often feel that there is something wrong with you if you are still single. However, there is nothing wrong with being single. There are many people who are single and happy, so find your self a hobby or something to engage yourself with.

3) Another common reason for people to rush into relationships is that they feel that they are missing something, and often they think that it is a male presence. However, as they soon find out, a boyfriend rarely solves the problem. The empty space that they used to feel usually still remains. These feelings will slowly damage your relationship and it will ultimately fail.

As you can see, getting into relationships for the wrong reasons may damage your relationships later on causing many problems and a lot of heartache.

When you do get into a relationship, do so not because you need to but because you want to.