10 tips to NOT arguing with your partner at Christmas

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Cheating: Seven-year itch theory dispelled by new research

• 72% of cheating men find their partner less attractive than before they committed to the relationship

• The biggest lull in sexual attraction occurs between the 3rd and 6th years of a relationship

• Lack of attraction is likely to end more than 60% of relationships

A recent survey conducted by Victoria Milan – a leading website for attached people looking to cheat – reveals when the spark in relationships is most likely to burn out – and it happens well before the notorious seven-year mark.

More than 3,600 male cheaters who are active members of Victoria Milan answered questions that delved into the ups and downs of their long-term relationships.

45% of cheating men say the honeymoon period didn’t start to wane until the third year of marriage – it was at that point that they stopped enjoying sex with their significant other. 

One quarter of unfaithful men claim it is between the third and sixth year of a long-term relationship that they are the least sexually attracted to their partner.

The sixth year is when the fire lights up again – dispelling the infamous theory that the seven-year mark is when infidelity is most likely to occur.  30% of men claim that after the sixth year of marriage, things really start to heat up.

CEO and Founder of Victoria Milan, Sigurd Vedal, said the results indicate that while it’s fun to have a daring and dirty dalliance from time to time, long-term relationships are often forever.

“Often, it’s having affairs that rekindle the spark in a cheating couple’s relationship. Perhaps they appreciate each other more after trying what’s out there – maybe they are turned on by their partner’s ignorance to the secrecy and sexiness of the forbidden fruit they taste, and the risks associated.  Either way – at Victoria Milan, we know they aren’t waiting seven years to find out what it tastes like,” he said.

For ladies out there concerned that their man might be preparing to stray, Victoria Milan has the answers from cheaters who no longer find their partner attractive. 

Nearly half of cheating men (47%) say they would like their lady to be more feminine and wear high heels, while 32% said weight-loss and diet would go a long way in heating up the relationship.  Save that trip to the salon and shopping mall – a haircut will only get 12% of men interested again, and a fashion make-over will nab you 9%

My Daily Record Column: 10 tips to surviving a holiday with your partner

Check out this week's column on the Daily Record website where I reveal the best ways to have an awesome holiday with your partner.

CLICK here to read it!

Heart conditions affecting over a million people's sex lives

More than one million people in the UK could have stopped having sex lives altogether as a result of a heart condition, a leading charity has said.

Heart patients and their GPs should talk openly about sex issues, the British Heart Foundation said, after its survey found nearly a fifth of people with heart conditions, or 19%, found sex impossible and nearly a third, or 32%, have had sex less often as a result of their condition.

One in five respondents said they were worried about having a heart attack or cardiac arrest during sex.

The survey of 1,511 patients for the BHF magazine Heart Matters found 14% had lost interest in sex because of the emotional impact of their condition. Nearly half the men surveyed, 46%, said medication for their condition had caused erectile dysfunction.

The charity said more than seven million people in the UK suffer from heart and circulatory conditions including stroke and the heart rhythm disorder atrial fibrillation.

Based on the survey results, it estimated that more than one million people could have stopped having sex because of their heart condition.

In spite of the widespread problem, the charity said 30% had not discussed the issue with anyone including their doctor and 8% said they would have liked to get professional help but could not.

Doireann Maddock, senior cardiac nurse at the BHF, said: "Sex is a hugely important part of life, but isn't getting the attention it deserves in the consultation room.

"We're hearing loud and clear from Heart Matters readers that they need better support and information on how to deal with issues affecting their sex lives.

"Problems like erectile dysfunction can often be tackled and rectified, but the first hurdle is identifying people who need that help.

"We'd like patients to feel comfortable and empowered to raise these issues, and for the NHS to proactively offer support in this area to everyone who needs it."

8 rules on how to be a better girlfriend and banish the bunny boiler within

In this week's Daily Record column I reveal how my fiance proposed to me and how I have eight rules I live by which make me a better girlfriend.

To read my article then click on this link.

Men are more emotional than women, according to new research

MEN are more emotional than women, despite their protestations to the contrary, a "scientific experiment" of British fathers and mothers has found.

Men experience greater levels of emotion than women when presented with heart-warming material, according to the study for Royal Mail, which has used the findings to produce the "definitive" list of phrases for a successful Father's Day card.

A group of 15 fathers and 15 mothers were presented with images and videos categorised into blissful, funny, exciting and heart-warming scenarios, such as a soldier returning from service and reuniting with his daughter, while their physiological reactions were measured using skin conductance electrodes.

Men demonstrated a marginally higher emotional reaction to the blissful, funny and exciting content compared to the women but responded twice as strongly as women when presented with heart-warming content.

An accompanying questionnaire found that even though the men reported feeling less emotion than the women, their physiological changes showed they felt emotion more strongly.

Mindlab founder and chairman Dr David Lewis said: "Gender stereotypes about men being stoic and women being emotional are reinforced by our day-to-day consumption of media and our social interactions.

"We tend to oversimplify and exaggerate the perceived differences between men and women and are more likely to focus on evidence that supports our existing gender stereotypes.

"This study suggests that men feel emotion just as much as women, sometimes more strongly, but are less willing to express these emotions openly due to expectations put on them by society."

Royal Mail's list of phrases for Father's Day cards "that will tug at fathers' heart strings" are 'number one dad,' 'you're my favourite person in the whole world,' 'I love you,' 'you're the best,' and 'thanks for everything you've done for me.'

A survey of 2,000 men to support the experiment found 67% thought they were more emotional than they appeared.

Some 40% of 18 to 24-year-old men said they had cried in the last week and 64% of all those questioned said they were surprised at how much emotion they felt when their child was born.

Stephen Agar from Royal Mail said: "What our research has shown is that underneath a stereotype of a tough exterior, men are really emotional but they don't like to admit it.

"We've created an ultimate list of phrases that have been scientifically proven to move dads and really pull at their heart strings.

How to stop your partner cheating while on their stag and hen nights

CLICK here to read my Daily Record column on how to stop your partner cheating while on their stag and hen nights, after a new survey revealed a third of people cheat on their last night of freedom.

How to beat post-wedding blues- a step by step guide

Check out this week's Daily Record column where I discuss ways of dragging you out of post-wedding depression and back into the real world.

To read my article then please click on this link.

Check out my new Daily Record online column

Each week I will be giving my opinion and advice on relationship issues whether that be from the world of showbiz or from readers who write to me.

Check out my first column by clicking HERE

Dirty divorces - new study reveals the lengths exes will go to for victory

A NEW study released shows that more than a third of divorces are acrimonious, while more than 40% of divorcees went after more than they were fairly entitled to.

Many fought for things they didn't even care about, made false promises, deliberately made things difficult for their ex, played the victim and turned others against their ex.

One in ten admit their behaviour during their divorce had a negative impact on their children More than a third of divorces are significantly acrimonious affairs, with a large number of divorcees admitting to fighting dirty and a third admitting to trying to hurt their ex as much as possible because they were suffering.

That's according to new research released, which saw more than 40% of divorcees polled say they fought for more than they were fairly entitled to during their divorce; whilst a third said they did so purely to "get one up" on their ex.

The study also shows the lengths people are prepared to go to in their battle for supremacy, with more than 40% saying they fought for something they didn't even care about.

Despite this, a third said they exaggerated the truth, a quarter deliberately made things difficult for their ex, and one in seven actively tried to embarrass their ex in court.

The same number said they knowingly 'played the victim', and more than one in ten tried to turn others against their ex.

Almost 60% surveyed by Slater & Gordon admit they made decisions during divorce proceedings by letting their heart rule their head, while close to 30% say anger made them fight for more than their fair share of assets, and a quarter custody of the children.

Highlighting the negative effect it can have on families, one in ten said their actions during the divorce caused unnecessary difficulty for their children. The study shows a quarter of divorcees were not prepared to settle and wanted their day in court, while one in eight say they purposely chose an aggressive lawyer.

It's perhaps no surprise then that almost three quarters say their divorce was made harder because of how emotional they or their partner got during proceedings.

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT DIVORCE DOS AND DON'TS

Regular arguments with your partner will be the death of you, say researchers

ARGUING happens in every relationship- it's natural.

However, if you and your other half are constantly at each others throats then this can be seriously bad for your health if you listen to the latest research.

According to a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, regular screaming matches with each other can double your chances of dying especially if you are middle-aged.

And it seems men and those who are unemployed are most at risk of the fatal consequences of frequent arguments, the authors said.

Researchers from Denmark examined 10,000 men and women aged between 36 and 52- they studied their relationships with friends, family, partners or neighbours.

Around 10 per cent of those quizzed said their partners or children were a frequent or constant sources of excess demands and worries, 6 per cent said these came from relatives and 2 per cent said these came from friends.

Meanwhile, 6 per cent had frequent arguments with their partners and children, 2 per cent with other relatives and 1 per cent with friends.

The participants' health was then tracked been 2000 and 2011 and during this time frame, 4 percent of women and 6 per cent of men died.

Frequent arguments were associated with a double to triple risk of death from any cause compared to those who said that rows were rare.

And those who said they had frequent demands or worries from their children or partners were found to be at a 50 per cent to 100 per cent increased risk of death.

Being out of work appeared to amplify the effect and men seemed to be particularly vulnerable to the worries and demands generated by their partners.

The Danish researchers said: "This study suggests that stressful social relations, ranging from partners to neighbours, are associated with mortality risk among middle-aged men and women.

"Conflicts, especially, were associated with higher mortality risk, regardless of whom was the source of the conflict.

"Worries and demands were only associated with mortality risk if they were related to partners or children.

"We found men were especially vulnerable to frequent worries/demands from their partner, contradicting earlier findings suggesting that women are more vulnerable to stressful social relations."

How to tell if your man is cheating on you- a step by step guide on signs to look out for

FORMER glamour model Katie Price divides opinion but it would take a cold heart for anyone not to sympathise with her after she revealed on Twitter that her new husband Kieran Hayler has been cheating on her with her best friend.

Unfortunately, infidelity is a reality for some of us and a devastation that all too many couples go through.

If you think your partner is having an affair, then there are signs to watch out for: Have they lost interest in having sex with you? This can either be a gradual change or all of a sudden. You may want to question what is going on if this has happened, especially if your sex life has always been good.If things have slowed down in the bedroom, then it could be that he is showing someone else some special attention.

If men suddenly change their appearance, then this can also be a red flag that they are cheating.Has he lost weight, bought new clothes and joined a gym without your knowledge?

Is he wearing a new aftershave and acting more confident?

Does your man guard his mobile with his life and constantly check his messages, especially on Facebook? If he doesn’t share who has texted or emailed him and everything is now password-protected, then this could also be a sign that something is not right. Does he switch off his mobile when he is with you so he doesn’t get any texts or phone calls from his mistress?

If, all of a sudden, your partner is happy when they leave the house instead of being miserable to go to their job like they used to be, then this may also be a sign of infidelity. Getting up early and coming home late maybe aren’t sure signs that they are cheating but they can be early warning signs that something is not quite right.

Have they stopped making eye contact with you when you have a conversation? This is usually a sure sign of guilt eating at them.

How about mystery charges on your credit card bill for gifts that you did not get or trips you didn’t take or nights in a hotel you knew nothing about.

If your partner is spending far too much time away from you and it seems like they can’t stand to be in the same room with you when they are home, then this too may be behaviour that sets alarm bells ringing. Has your partner started spending more time with a colleague at work or do they talk about them constantly? When you meet someone new, it’s exciting and you want to tell the world about them.

It can be hard to be sure if someone is cheating on you but go with your gut instinct. If you feel something isn’t right about your relationship, then it probably isn’t.

In many cases, the warning signs can be there early on in the relationship and once you spot them, you can save yourself a lot of pain by ending things right there and then.

The good news is that not everyone cheats.

Infidelity and relationships don’t always go hand in hand. The important thing to remember is that cheating is a choice, it’s not some biological need.

The best deterrent to cheating is finding the right partner.

Online Dating Etiquette- How to Get it Right

UNLUCKY in love Katy Perry has revealed she's still single and is looking for love on Tinder.

The Teenage Dreams singer says she loves trawling through the men who have posted profiles on the popular dating app.
 
She said: "I'm really deep on Tinder so I don't have a whole lot of time."
 
The brunette beauty, who recently split up with John Mayer, isn't alone in looking for love online because one in four relationships are now found on dating websites.
 
However, the internet may be a major influence in building new relationships but meeting someone online is very different to meeting a partner in a bar or in the office.
 
If you conduct yourself properly while messaging people online it could earn you good friends and even the love of your life.

Good online dating etiquette is essential if you want to make the right impression and attract the right partner.


Honesty is important:

Truthfully answer the questions asked by the dating site administrator when setting up your profile. Don't make things up about yourself. If you are not a brain surgeon then don't say you are. What if you met a person online that could possibly lead into a relationship? They would surely learn about the things you've made up. If you do tell porkies you will only embarrass yourself in the long run.


Handling rejection:

Online dating allows you to connect with other people by sending emails and messages but if you don't get many responses it can sting a bit. You have to be realistic and realise when dating online you will get knock-backs and you will have to chat to loads of people before you probably speak to someone you actually want to meet. Send as many messages as you like because, according to research, in every three to five messages sent you will usually get at least one response.


How to say No

It's polite to reply to messages sent to you but how do you respond to somebody you are just not interested in? For some people not responding is rude, but actually it's a better way than telling people you don't like them. Just keep in mind that you don't have to take it personally either if you don't receive a reply to a particular message. However, being uninterested doesn't mean you have to be rude. If a person has sent you a nice message then reply and at least let them know that you're not interested. Who knows it could lead to a friendship instead.


Personalise your replies:

When sending replies make sure that they're personalised and not just a standard message you send out to everybody who gets in touch with you. Even if you have too much on your hands respond appropriately. After all, you're dealing with people who have real emotions. If you can't be bothered sending a message to a potential partner then you need to rethink if online dating is actually for you.


Don't get too personal too quickly:

Avoid asking personal questions like: Where do you work? How much money do you earn? Do you own your own home?- especially if it's just the first time you have talked online. If someone persists on asking you this information just tell them that you don't share personal information with people you've just met. If they like you and want to continue chatting to you then they will understand.


Don't be pushy:

Let things take their course. In short, take it slowly and give your friendship enough time to develop. You can't force somebody to meet you and you are not going to find the love of your live and get married in the space of a few weeks. Dating online takes patience as it takes time to search through people's profiles and build bonds on the web. Also, you may have to go on a good few dates before you meet someone you think you would like to have a relationship with. Just relax, stick with it and enjoy the experience.


Be safe:

When meeting face-to-face for the first time you have to be safe. Meet your date in a public place such as a restaurant or bar. Also, protect your privacy and meet them at your chosen venue- never allow them to come to your home on the first few dates. And when you leave them always say goodbye on a positive note and say thank you for meeting up even if there are no sparks during the date.


Let things fade:

If you and your date feel that there seems to be no spark between you then it's okay to gradually stop communicating with them, you can just let things fade away if you like. But, if the person contacts you then explain to them that there is something missing from the relationship and tell them that it's nothing personal but you think you wouldn't make a good match. Always say thank you.


Removing your profile:

If you are already dating somebody you've met online then take your profile down. Some online dating sites will allow you to change your status or hide your profile without cancelling your membership as some people keep their profiles if it's early days in a new relationship. Also, avoid messaging other people while you are dating the one person as it isn't fair on them.


Breaking up:

Online dating experts recommend that for those who have only met the person once or twice then you can break up through email. But if you have been going out on dates more than that then it's probably better to break the news on the phone or if you are brave then do it face-to-face.

Online dating is one of the most lucrative and growing services on the internet and if you do it right then your perfect partner may just be a click of a mouse away.

Be Confident Guys and Get Your Woman

WHEN it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman then confidence is vital.

Women often equate self confidence with the ability to be successful.

Many men believe that women look for successful men because they're likely to make more money- that's simply not true.

Women actually look for successful men because they're more likely to be satisfied. You see a man who is satisfied with himself is less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are far more stable and less insecure.

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember, most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Us women not only want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you're both equals.

When it comes to confidence it seems there are two kinds of people - those who have it and others who simply don't. However, here is the thing- everyone can feel confident and if you don't feel confident then you have to fake it to get a woman. The more you fake it the more likely you will end up feeling confident as it will become a learned habit.

Take heart in knowing that you are a good person, you are smart, you are funny, you are good at your job and you are loving and considerate and you would make a great partner. 

Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who's confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer in a relationship.

RELATED STORY:

Keep Your Man By Being a Confident Girlfriend

Is there life after infidelity?

WHEN it comes to fixing a relationship after infidelity there is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that no matter how screwed up the relationship is it can be fixed, if you want it bad enough. If there has been forgiveness and both parties are committed 100% to doing whatever it takes to make it work then things can get better.

Both parties have to understand and accept that it will take time and work and they have to be mature enough to admit to some of their own shortcomings. If you are both at that place you have an excellent chance of working things out.

The bad news is that if the problems are too overwhelming and/or both of you are not willing to do the work and find a solution, the odds of fixing a relationship after infidelity go way down. It is not impossible at this point, but it will be so much more difficult.

So, step one would be to honestly assess where you and your partner are now and then where exactly you might be headed. Do some serious soul searching and determine if both of you are mature enough to face up to the issues and stick with it long enough to find a solution
If so, go on to step two. If not, ask yourself why you want to save the relationship. Sometimes love just is not a good enough reason to save a relationship.

If you try to save your relationship with out the help of your partner, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of becoming a door mat to them. If they feel that the hurt is so great that they will not work with you to save the relationship, it is almost a guarantee that they may also try to sabotage all the hard work you are trying to do.

Step two would be to figure out what other problems and issues the two of you are dealing with and what needs to happen to fix them. Do the two of you just seem to have drifted apart? If so, why? What has changed? Do you now have kids and find it harder to really connect with each other? Has one of you taken on a new more stress filled job and is it affecting your home life?

Once you identify what the issues you are having really are then you have a much better chance of dealing with them effectively. Do not let life and it's stresses come between you. This is usually not the real problem in most cases, anyway, it works well as an excuse for bad behaviour though. Figure out the real problems and then work together on a solution.

Sometimes finding someone to help you sort it all out can be nothing short of a miracle. Finding a therapist or counsellor can help. If nothing else, a counsellor can act as a sort of referee so the two of you do not get too upset and start fighting. Nothing will ever get worked out if the fighting continues.

Keep in mind that you can't fix anything until you figure out what is broken. There is no difference between a broken relationship and a broken belt on your car. If you do not diagnose what the problem is, you can't fix your relationship after infidelity.

How many calories do you burn in the bedroom? Find out with the sex calculator

IT'S time to get physical and burn some calories.

Sex has always been a great way to help shed some pounds, and let's face it, getting steamy between the sheets is way more fun than hitting the gym.

And now, thanks to online pharmacy UKMedix.com, you can tell exactly how many calories you burn with their sex calculator.

According to their website for a half-an-hour session up to 150 calories can be burned, which is the equivalent of jogging for 15 minutes.

 Sarah Bailey of UKMedix.com said: "The sex calculator is a fun tool to give users an estimate of the calories burnt during sex sessions.

"Of course, if you’re going to treat this time together like it’s just a work out, your partner may get a bit offended.

"Having said that, some of the skimpy gym clothes could relate quite nicely in the bedroom

"Who knows - this calculator could well inspire a whole new wave of bedroom yogas and acrobats!"

So what are you waiting on? Try it out for yourself!

6 Things That Can Kill Your Sex Drive And What To Do About It

WHEN you are in a long-term relationship you can sometimes find your sex drive slowing down a bit.  

If you are still in the honeymoon period then I'm afraid at some point in your partnership sexy time will take a back seat now and again. It's just natural as life gets in the way.

Here are 6 things that can really affect the fun in the bedroom and what you can do to get your sexy back:

Having children:

If you are lucky enough to have kids then you will know they are a magical gift. However, they kill your sex life. Can you remember the days when you and your partner were carefree and always found time to get between the sheets? Well now you have had a little bundle of joy everything has probably changed. Kids can make you stressed and tired and all that spare time you used to have disappears and that can also have a huge affect on your sexy time. You really have to remember how important it is to make time for each other as a couple without your children being there. Make sure at least once a month you go on a proper date with each other... pack the kids off to grans or a friends for the night and get in the mood for some romance. If you don't make time for each other as a couple and have sex on a regular basis then your relationship will suffer in the long run. 

Getting a Promotion or New Job:

It's an awesome feeling getting promoted at work- finally all the hours you put into your job has finally paid off, but it can also have a detrimental affect on your nocturnal activities. That's because with a promotion or new job comes the stress and as we all know if you are stressed out of your nut then the last thing you want to do is get down and dirty in the bedroom. And the reason sex is far from your mind is because when we are stressed we release more cortisol into our system which is a nasty hormone that suppresses your estrogen and testosterone levels. It's important to work out how to ease or manage your stress levels and remember that it has an effect on your partner too. It's also important for your partner to have patience as you will eventually get used to your new responsibilities and things at work will become easier and your stress levels will become less and you will eventually get your sexy back.

Going on a Diet:

Let's face it going on a diet can make us miserable. If you are eating less food to shed the pounds it can make you grumpy and less likely to be in a sexy mood. And you will be pleased to know that research shows that bad foods such as takeaways and ice-cream are actually good for your bedroom activities- the mere smell of these food can increase the blood flow in a man's penis, helping him get in the mood. The best thing to do is eat more foods that give you energy and to remember that at the weekends you are allowed to have some treats in moderation without it having an effect on your weight loss. Don't let your diet or the way you feel about your body affect your sex life as it just isn't worth it. Us girls are always on a diet but it's important not to obsess over calories and how you look- instead just be careful with what you eat and remember to have fun in the bedroom.

Getting Drunk:

Having too much booze is a total passion killer. For guys too much alcohol can lead to 'brewer's droop' which is a failure to get an erection. For ladies when you are intoxicated your clitoris is less sensitive leaving it less likely to have an orgasm. Also for both men and women drinking more than two units a day can lower your libido. Let's face it- sexy time can be absolutely crap when there is booze involved. Yes a few glasses of vino can make you lose your inhibitions but how many of us know when enough is enough? The best sex you will ever have is when you are sober- trust me. When you are sober and getting sexy you are fully aware of what is happening and you are more sensitive to touch, plus when you are swinging from the chandelier you are less likely to feel sick.  So drink in moderation and watch your sex drive soar.  

Not Exercising:

I dunno about you but exercising is such a chore. However, it does have its plus points in the bedroom. Regular exercise can really boost your sex drive. According to research many men who exercise for an hour, three times a week have improved sexual satisfaction. Also, the fitter you are the more confident you become and the sexier you will feel. If you don't exercise then you can feel sluggish and the weight can creep on and going to bed with your partner can sometimes be the last thing on your mind. If you are not a natural gym bunny just buy a fitness DVD and get some weights for home and exercise in moderation. You will soon feel the difference in how you look and how you feel- and if you feel good you are more likely to jump between the sheets and burn some calories getting down and dirty with your partner.

Watching too Much Porn:

A lot of couples use porn to spark sexy time but it's when you start watching too much of it then that's when the problems can arise in the bedroom. Watching too many adult movies can actually mess with the signals in your brain leading them to be over-stimulated- if this happens too many times then it can actually affect your ability to become aroused. Your sex drive will soon be back to normal if you lay off the adult movies and appreciate the sexiness of your partner instead. 

At some point in our adult lives we will feel our sex drives changing- for a variety of reasons. However, as you can see from the examples above, some problems can be easily fixed and your sexy time will be back on track in no time at all.

5 Signs You Have a Happy Sex Life

MANY couples are often curious about their sex life and how it compares to the sex life of others.

In all honesty, you are able to determine, on your own, if your sex life is good, happy, and healthy.

With that said, there are some common signs that you may want to look for.  These signs, a few of which are outlined below, often signal a happy and healthy sex life.  

Are you receiving the ultimate level of satisfaction?

Sign #1 – You Have a Healthy Relationship

Couples who have a healthy relationship use communication with each other and often.  They are able to let their partners know when something is bothering them. Each partner understands that their relationship involves two fully committed individuals. Couples with happy and healthy sex lives often do not have unrealistic expectations or make excess demands on their partners.

Sign #2 – Experimentation in the Bedroom

Experimenting in the bedroom is another sign that you may have a happy and healthy sex life.  Of course, this does not mean that you and your partner have to become the next big adult movie stars, but experimentation can improve your sex life significantly.It is also important to remember that experimentation comes in a number of different formats. It can be something as simple as having sex at a different time of the day, in a different part of the house, or extended foreplay sessions. Fantasies and fetishes are fun and okay, but only if both parties agree to them.  Be sure to consult with your partner before going “overboard.”

Sign #3 – Sex is Given Freely

In many relationships, especially long-term relationships, sex can be seen as a chore. This isn’t how it should be. Sex should be something that you and your partner want, not a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled. If you and your partner are open to both spontaneously engaging in sex, you may have a happy and healthy sex life. When you have sex because you want to, as opposed to because it is your “job,” maximum benefit and pleasure is achieved.

Sign #4 – Sex Becomes a Regular Part of the Relationship

It is no secret that having an active sexual relationship can be difficult. With raising families, working, and other common duties, sex can often take a back seat. Another sign that you may have a happy and healthy sex life is if you don’t let your day to day responsibilities and duties get in the way of having sex. Regardless of how busy you are, if you still find time to have sex with your partner, you have a healthy sex life. Just be sure to remember that sex doesn’t have to be scheduled.  In fact, spontaneous sex can do wonders for a relationship.

Sign #5 – Sex is more than Just an Act

Contrary to what most people believe, sex is more than just having intercourse.  An important component of having a happy and healthy sex life is that of engaging in foreplay. Foreplay can be something as simple as holding hands or giving a relaxing massage. Love notes, kind gestures, and doing something that your partner may not expect on a daily basis are all easy ways to keep your partner interested in you, both emotionally and physically. You have a healthy and happy sex life when the romance continues on long past intercourse has come to an end.

So, do you have a happy and healthy sex life?  If a number of the above signs describes your relationship with your significant other, there is a good chance that you do.

Even if you have a happy and healthy sex life now, it is important to remember that things may change.  Remember that as time passes, it may be easier to let sex impact your relationship negatively. Be sure to always keep an open line of communication with your partner, especially where sex and their needs are concerned.

4 Easy Ways to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom This Weekend

ARE you in a relationship that seems as if it has stalled in the bedroom? 

If so, your first thought may be to end the relationship. But, what if your relationship is long-term?  What if you are married?  What if you really do love your partner?  What steps should you take then?

When it comes to being unhappy in the bedroom, it is important to know that ending a marriage or a relationship should only be used as a last resort. Instead, you will want to take steps to spice things up.  Doing so may improve more than just your intimacy, but it may do wonders for your relationship in general.

So how should you go about getting the sexy back into your relationship?

Well here are four easy ways that you can try today:

1 – Engage in Foreplay

When you do have sex, what happens?  Do you and your partner get right down to business?  If you do, that may be a huge problem.  Unfortunately, many couples do not realise that intimacy is more than just about having sex.  It is also about having a happy and healthy relationship.  If you rely on sex to make your relationship succeed, there is a very good chance that it will actually fail.

If you and your partner don’t already engage in foreplay, start doing so.  Also, remember that foreplay doesn’t have to start in the bedroom.  Call your partner, send a text message, or leave a note expressing your desires to get intimate with them later on.

2 – Be Spontaneous

When you want to have sex, what do you do?  If you actually take the time to ask your partner if they want to be intimate with you, you may be doing more harm than good.  Asking first can make being intimate seem more like a chore than something that should bring you pleasure.  The next time that you want to move to the bedroom, don’t ask first.  Just lead your partner there.  In fact, who needs a bedroom?

Know that being spontaneous is about more than not talking about sex first.  Ways that you can be spontaneous with your partner is to have sex at a different time, date, or place.  

3 – Talk About Your Fantasies

One of the biggest reasons why couples have problems with sex is because one person isn’t having their desires fulfilled.  If that is the case with you?  Does your partner know what you like or what you want to get out of being intimate?  If not, it is time for you to let them know.

Be sure to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and desires.  What would you like to try in the bedroom?  In addition to expressing your wants, needs, and darkest fantasies, be sure to let your partner do the same.  Remember that both of you should walk away from an intimate encounter pleased.

4 – Experiment in the Bedroom

Another one of the easy ways that you can spice up things in the bedroom is by experimenting. For starters, you can try a new sex position.  This may not only lead to extra pleasure, but fun and excitement.  Sex toys, romantic or naughty videos, and role playing are other good ideas for experimenting in the bedroom.

Remember that experimenting in the bedroom is a good way to spice up your intimacy, but be sure to use your best judgment.  It may be a wise decision to first discuss making changes with your partner, as you will not want to make him or her feel uncomfortable.

So there you have it!  You know have a few ideas on how you can go about spicing up things in the bedroom.  So what are you waiting for?  Get started today.

Kelly Brook is the celebrity men would most like their partner to look like

GLAMOUR girl Kelly Brook is the celebrity men would most like their partner to look like, a poll has found.

Brook's curvy figure was the number one choice for who they would like their other half to emulate - and the survey found she was also the star women would most like to resemble.

However, the poll also found that a little over half of those who were questioned did not actually want their partner to look like a celebrity at all.

Of the 2000-plus people who took part, 51% of men would not like their partner to emulate any female star and 57% of women were happy with they way they looked.

TV presenter Carol Vorderman, 53, came out as the second choice, in the survey conducted by breast implant manufacturers GC Aesthetics She was placed fourth on the list chosen by women.

Women's own second choice of celebrity looks they aspired to was the washboard abs of Olympic medallist Jessica Ennis, who came third for the men.

Celebrities men most want their partner to look like:

1. Kelly Brook

2. Carol Vorderman

3. Jessica Ennis

4. Helen Mirren

5. Kate Moss

Celebrities women most want to look like:

1. Kelly Brook

2. Jessica Ennis

3. Helen Mirren

4. Carol Vorderman

5 Kate Moss

5 Kim Kardashian

Dozens of couples celebrate Valentine's Day by tying the knot at Gretna Green

Dozens of couples celebrated Valentine's Day by tying the knot at one of the UK's most famous wedding spots.

A total of 42 ceremonies were carried out in Gretna Green, in Dumfries and Galloway, with couples travelling from across the country to make their vows.

Its popularity as a marriage venue dates back to 1754 when the Marriage Act, which required parental consent to marry under the age of 21, came into force in England and Wales.

Many young couples crossed the border to Gretna Green, the closest village, to take advantage of Scotland's lower marriage age, which remained at 16.

One couple who made the journey to Gretna today were Londoners Amerjit Walia, 52, and his now-wife Sarah, 33.

Mr Walia, a keen Sikh martial artist, carried a Gatka sword while dressed in a red tartan kilt and matching red dastar turban.

He said: "I've always wanted to wear a kilt as it's similar to what the Gatka warriors wear."
His new wife said they chose the Anvil Hall in the village as their wedding venue due to the "history, romance and symbolic nature" which suited how they felt.

Anne Downie, an exhibition guide at the Blacksmith's Shop, said that "tradition and history" are the most important reasons for people coming to Gretna Green to get married.

She added: "With young couples not being able to marry without consent in England, speed was usually of the essence, so they would come to Gretna in hot pursuit by their parents to get married."

The Anvil Hall, registration office, Blacksmith's Cottage, Mill Forge, and the many hotels in the area are all popular wedding venues.

Allan Farr, 39, and his bride Karen, 35, travelled from Hereford to tie the knot in the Blacksmith's Cottage.

Mrs Farr said: "It's a secret wedding, so no-one knows. We felt it was appropriate as it's Allan's birthday and it's Valentine's Day."

The happy couple posted a picture of themselves on Facebook once they were married to let friends and family know their news.

Around 5,000 weddings are held in the area each year, but only 20% are said to involve Scottish couples, with 60% coming over the border from England and Wales and the rest from overseas.

Another couple to get married today were Mark Blincow, 26, from Inverness, and his wife Siobhan, 25, from Bedfordshire.

They chose Gretna due to the romantic history behind the town. They plan to travel to Sri Lanka with their family later this year for their honeymoon.

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day on a Budget

VALENTINE'S day is supposed to be about celebrating true love and making that special person in your life feel wanted and cared for.

However, it's also one of the most commercialised days of the year where you feel pressurised into buying overpriced flowers, stuffed toys and greetings cards.

But you don't have to let this romantic day of the year hit you hard in the pocket, instead remember it is all about giving your partner an experience to remember and not about how far your funds will stretch.

You can have a fantastic and more memorable Valentine's day on a budget.

It is still possible to indulge in all those heart shaped accessories and still save money. You just have to reduce the amount you buy. For example don't buy him the biggest bottle of aftershave on the shelf, instead just downsize and buy the bottle size below. Instead of getting a huge box of expensive chocolates for your other half why not buy them a special brand of chocolate bar instead?

You could even just skip the gifts altogether and instead do something that the pair of you have never done before. You could try a drive-in movie which is the latest romantic craze or you could wrap up warm and head off in the car for a long walk followed by a pub dinner or lunch.

How about re-enacting your very first date together? The chances are it wasn't too over the top but very romantic. Taking a trip down memory lane can also be fun and spark intimacy between you.

The best way of celebrating the day of love without breaking the bank is organising a cosy night at home together. Prepare a special meal for your partner but one that fits your budget. Have a look online to get some ideas for recipes that you can use with simple ingredients that will make them taste amazing. Set the mood with a playlist of music that you know your partner will like. You could also snuggle up and watch each other's favourite movie before heading to the bedroom for dessert.

If you really want to go out, whether that be for a candlelit dinner or romantic night away, then have a look at some of the voucher websites which can have some cracking deals at this time of the year with some discounting as much as 50 per cent.

Or you could choose an intimate restaurant or bistro that's outside the city which will probably charge less than city centre places. That way you get a drive in the country and a lovely romantic meal at the end of it.

One of the most romantic gestures which is completely free is allocating time to spend with each other without any interruptions such as kids, working late or mobile phones. The good thing is Valentine's day falls on a Friday this year which means you could make the Saturday a day for just the both of you to spend time together.

If you have been taking your relationship for granted recently then it is the perfect time to reconnect and remember all the good reasons why you are both together. If you can't get a babysitter then make sure the kids know it is a special day for mummy and daddy and let them help by getting them to make cards or let them help you bake some romantic cupcakes.

Another money saving tip is not to bother buying champagne for your special night together. Why not pop the Prosecco instead? A good bottle of bubbly Prosecco will cost you half of what champers will and it tastes just as good, if not better.

Another fun way to personalise Valentine's day without it costing a fortune is to make some love vouchers. Each one should contain a promise. They can be straight forward ones such as a coupon which will allow your partner to watch his favourite boxed set that month or you can get all sexy and give him a voucher promising him the night of his life.

If you have just started dating someone new then keep things simple, light and fun not romantic and sappy as you don't want to scare them off with cards which say: 'I Love you'. Instead go out for a bite to eat then choose a fun activity to do like crazy golf or ten pin bowling.

The best gift of all is telling your other half you love them. It costs nothing to say those three little words but hearing them will make your partner feel like most important person in your life.

Just because you are strapped for cash doesn't mean you can't have a fantastic time. In fact the less money you spend the more creative you can be and the better the memories you will create.

How Much Will You Spend on Your Partner This Valentine's Day?

ALMOST a third of people who are in a relationship spend absolutely nothing on Valentine's Day gifts, according to a survey.

While 29.1% spend nothing, another quarter (25%) spend £20 or less, and almost half of those who do buy gifts (45%) buy them either the day before or on their way to see their partner, the poll for Give as you Live charity shopping platform found.

Meanwhile, Carlisle and Dumfries and Galloway have been named the most romantic places in the UK, according to Royal Mail.

Residents in the CA and DG postcodes topped the list after Royal Mail analysed mail volumes in its centres last year, comparing post sent on February 6 and February 13.

The Carlisle mail centre, which serves the CA and DG postcodes, saw the largest percentage increase (32%) , while residents in the CF postcode saw a 30% increase, followed by those in London, Norwich and Kent.

Carlisle Mail Centre manager Vivienne Dalton said: "I'm delighted to declare people of Cumbria alongside Dumfries and Galloway as the most romantic places in the UK.

"Valentine's Day is a busy time for us so we would remind people to send their cards in good time so we can deliver your message to your loved one in time for February 14."

Romford claimed the title of the UK's most romantic town last year but has now slipped to ninth place.

Glasgow’s ‘perfect girlfriend’ is 5ft 8 inches tall, drinks white wine, has no tattoos and supports Rangers

GLASGOW'S ‘perfect girlfriend’ is 5ft 8 inches tall, drinks white wine, has no tattoos and supports Rangers, it has been revealed.

A study of 2,000 men by location based dating app Lovoo also found that men in Glasgow like a woman with a Scottish accent, who drives a Mini Cooper, is a meat-eater and loves a pizza.

Weighing a healthy 9st, she’s a 36C who enjoys listening to a bit of rock music and her favourite movies are Forrest Gump and The Godfather.

When asked to choose a celebrity who resembles their perfect girlfriend, Kelly Book was the nation’s most popular choice, while Glasgow’s was Denise Van Outen, followed by Kelly Brook then Kate Moss and Katy Perry.

Like other British men, they would like to date a nurse or a teacher with brown hair and think it’s more attractive if she wears makeup – but only subtly.

Homeland and Coronation Street are her current favourite television shows, followed jointly by Friends, Match of the Day and British Bakeoff.

The search for the perfect girlfriend was run by the location based dating app, Lovoo to promote their radar function that allows you to search for the perfect girlfriend near you.

Benjamin Bak, Founder of LOVOO said: ‘’It seems that British men have very specific tastes for a girl to live up to.

We know that everyone has a favourite hair colour and sometimes even eye colour and height.

But we think that avoiding a woman because she might support an opposing football team or enjoy a different genre of films to you, might be being a bit too picky.

We encourage meeting up with people you share interests with, but suggest not being too strict as you might find that you get to learn something new.

Dating is fun and shouldn’t become a chore or make you feel as though you won’t ever find ‘the one’.

Being more open to new things will certainly help you find that perfect girlfriend.’’

It was also found that the perfect partner enjoys a wide range of hobbies, with reading, going out to dinner and travelling as their favourites.

They also love to go to bars with their friends, watching a live band every so often and are careful with what they eat – without being too strict.

Men like a girl who likes to watch football and would prefer them to wear either skinny jeans or miniskirts.

Researchers also found that the perfect girlfriend needs to be adventurous in the bedroom, is happy to embark in a bit of role-play and experiment with different positions.

And men don’t want a woman who can just impress them; they want a girlfriend who will get on with the other important woman in their life too – their mum.

But after all that, three quarters of the single men who responded to the study said they don’t think they will meet their perfect woman and will have to compromise instead.

And more surprising still, two in five men already in a relationship think their current wife or girlfriend isn’t the perfect woman for them.

Benjamin Bak, Founder of LOVOO added: ‘’It is very surprising that so many men who are currently in a relationship, feel as though they aren’t with the right woman for them.

And it’s sad to see that some single men don’t believe the perfect woman exists.

We want to show these men that we don’t agree, there is someone out there for everyone.

And if they’re lucky they might even find that woman described in our study in time for Valentine’s Day”

UK Barking Mad this Valentine’s Day

THERE'S been a dramatic rise in the number of Brits who send their pets Valentine's Cards.

Personalised card company TheDogsDoodahs.com has released new stats revealing the disturbing truth.

Not only  is there an increasing trend for people to send Valentine’s cards to their pets, but
for pets to be sending cards to their owner.

There is also evidence to suggest that British pets are sending cards to each other - with a little help from their human companions.

Due to the popular demand the site has introduced a “Pet” option to the Valentine’s day section of the website, where pet-crazy customers can choose from a selection of pet-themed card.

The team can reveal the following results:

Dogs are far more popular than cats, with 10 times as many being from dogs rather than any other pet

Men are more likely to receive cards from their pets than women

While cards FROM pets account for 82% of sales, cards TO pets are also on the rise and predicted to be at more than double the figure from 2013

Dogs are the most popular pet for the card service at all other occasions throughout the year, with dogs featuring on 10 times as many cards for Birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day and Father's Day
compared to cats.  The majority of pets who get Christmas cards from their owners are also dogs

Tony Spooner, Chairman of TheDogsDoodahs.com, explains: “We’ve seen everything, from singletons sending cards to their parrots, to wives shunning their husbands in favour of sending a card to the dog instead. The real sentiment behind this is that people really do love their pets, and personalised cards are a good way for us to feel close to them.”

Britain is famous for being a nation of animal lovers, with more than 50 per cent of British families owning a pet.

We keep some 7.7 million cats, 6.6 million dogs, one million budgerigars and 18 million goldfish – and now Valentine’s 2014 is set to be the biggest year so far for Brits to show their pets some love.

Let's Play Doctors and Nurses! Scots Want to Date Health Professionals

The NHS may have its troubles but its caring staff are the most fanciable workers in Scotland, according to new figures.

Doctors are the most dateable men in any uniformed profession while nurses remain the number one choice for Scotland's men. And it is their caring qualities and 'empathy' that make them more appealing to singles looking for love than soldiers, sailors, police officers and firefighters.

The poll of more than 1,500 adults by matchmaking website Uniformdating.com included both those who wear a uniform to work and those who don't. Asked which man or woman in uniform they would most like as a partner, 29 per cent of women went for a doctor followed by 12 per cent who went for a firefighter and the same who said a member of the armed forces.

Among men, 26 per cent chose nurse but a further 17 per cent said doctor, suggesting some of the old Carry On stereotypes are being reversed. Asked why a health expert appealed so much, both men and women said it was their role to care and empathise with their patients that were their most attractive qualities.

Doctors are also seen as intelligent - though many women admitted a decent pay packet also helped! And one in four of the female nurses polled in the survey said they still thought their uniform meant men did not take them seriously.

Women still lust after hunky firemen, brave policemen and dashing pilots as well as fiery chefs, said Uniformdating.com's poll. And men admit they fancy female members of the armed forces, flight attendants and policewomen.

Police officers are seen as loyal, reliable and honest in their work which would be attractive qualities in a relationship, said Uniformdating.com.

But there were few votes for postmen and women in the survey, attracting just one per cent of the male vote and two per cent of the female vote.

And many said they were turned off having a member of the armed services as a partner because of the long periods spent away from home.

Amy Coles of Uniformdating.com said: "It’s surprising to see so many members of the British public reverting to stereotypes when it comes to considering the relationship potential of those in uniformed careers.

"These professions attract many different types of people with varying skills and strengths as we can see from our own study of those in uniform on our site.

"In talking to many of the uniformed singles on our site, we have found one thing to be true – many are undoubtedly heroic in the work that they do and the services they provide.”

It's the Busiest Week for Internet Dating- Here is a Guide to Doing it Right

IF you are single and looking for love then 2014 may be the year to try internet dating.

This week is the busiest time of the year for people looking for that special person online.

In record numbers singles are flocking to internet dating sites with the hope that the love of their lives is just a mouse click away.In fact Match.com says they'll have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times this week.

If you have felt a bit lonely over Christmas and New Year and are determined 2014 will be a better romantic year for you then online dating might make all the difference.

The internet is a fantastic way to meet someone, whether that is for a long-term relationship, dating or even just for sex.

When you first get to know someone on the net it can be really exciting and easy to do- but you do have to be careful.

The internet may have revolutionised our lives but there are still dangers lurking around the corner so you have to follow certain rules and understand certain things when you start internet dating.

Don’t think you will meet the woman or man of your dreams right away. You may do this if you are very, very lucky but for the majority of people it will take a bit of time. But don’t be downhearted about it as there are millions of people on the internet looking for exactly what you are looking for.

If you are going out on your first date then whatever you do don’t let the person pick you up from your house as you could be inviting danger to your front door. It doesn’t matter how amazing and lovely they seem online you must meet them first and take it from there.

You should always meet in public places where there as many people as possible so that if you do feel in danger then there are people you can ask for help. Public places such as coffee shops, restaurants or daytime parks are good places to begin with. If it is possible you could double date with friends.

When you are eating in a restaurant or café then offer to pay half of the bill. That way, you won’t feel obliged in returning the favour of treating your date if he or she gets to pay the whole bill as you might never want to see them again.

If possible then avoid drinking alcohol while on a date. Alcohol can affect your judgment and lessen inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep the drink in your sight all the time. Do not get too drunk. You might not know what might happen later or remember what you have been doing.

If you have a car, use it. Make sure the petrol tank is full. When you take your car on a date then you are more in control and can leave at any time. Do not offer your date a lift home though as they could be luring you into danger. If they are for real then they should understand.

Listen to what your gut says. If there is something that does not feel right, then most likely it is not. Leave immediately if you feel something isn’t quite right.

Tell someone whom you are with and where you will be going. You might also want to arrange a time schedule where someone could call you later and check up on you. You could also plan to meet some friends after the date.

Do not give your home contact number. If you really have to give contact information, give your mobile phone number or even better your email address.

Stay alert. Having good chemistry and fun the whole time does not mean you should let your guard down. Be sure you have a mobile phone with you.

Your safety is paramount when dating someone you have met online but remember it is a whole load of fun too and it really is one of the best ways of meeting that special person in an age where we are all glued to our tablets and smart-phones.

So what are you waiting for? Join that dating site today and you may find that person of your dreams and Christmas 2014 could be a very different experience for you.

Divorce D-Day- Mistakes to avoid if you want to make that final split

Calls to lawyers peak in the aftermath of an often fraught festive season. Before you rush into a final split, read about some of the pitfalls in my article HERE.