6 Things That Can Kill Your Sex Drive And What To Do About It

WHEN you are in a long-term relationship you can sometimes find your sex drive slowing down a bit.  

If you are still in the honeymoon period then I'm afraid at some point in your partnership sexy time will take a back seat now and again. It's just natural as life gets in the way.

Here are 6 things that can really affect the fun in the bedroom and what you can do to get your sexy back:

Having children:

If you are lucky enough to have kids then you will know they are a magical gift. However, they kill your sex life. Can you remember the days when you and your partner were carefree and always found time to get between the sheets? Well now you have had a little bundle of joy everything has probably changed. Kids can make you stressed and tired and all that spare time you used to have disappears and that can also have a huge affect on your sexy time. You really have to remember how important it is to make time for each other as a couple without your children being there. Make sure at least once a month you go on a proper date with each other... pack the kids off to grans or a friends for the night and get in the mood for some romance. If you don't make time for each other as a couple and have sex on a regular basis then your relationship will suffer in the long run. 

Getting a Promotion or New Job:

It's an awesome feeling getting promoted at work- finally all the hours you put into your job has finally paid off, but it can also have a detrimental affect on your nocturnal activities. That's because with a promotion or new job comes the stress and as we all know if you are stressed out of your nut then the last thing you want to do is get down and dirty in the bedroom. And the reason sex is far from your mind is because when we are stressed we release more cortisol into our system which is a nasty hormone that suppresses your estrogen and testosterone levels. It's important to work out how to ease or manage your stress levels and remember that it has an effect on your partner too. It's also important for your partner to have patience as you will eventually get used to your new responsibilities and things at work will become easier and your stress levels will become less and you will eventually get your sexy back.

Going on a Diet:

Let's face it going on a diet can make us miserable. If you are eating less food to shed the pounds it can make you grumpy and less likely to be in a sexy mood. And you will be pleased to know that research shows that bad foods such as takeaways and ice-cream are actually good for your bedroom activities- the mere smell of these food can increase the blood flow in a man's penis, helping him get in the mood. The best thing to do is eat more foods that give you energy and to remember that at the weekends you are allowed to have some treats in moderation without it having an effect on your weight loss. Don't let your diet or the way you feel about your body affect your sex life as it just isn't worth it. Us girls are always on a diet but it's important not to obsess over calories and how you look- instead just be careful with what you eat and remember to have fun in the bedroom.

Getting Drunk:

Having too much booze is a total passion killer. For guys too much alcohol can lead to 'brewer's droop' which is a failure to get an erection. For ladies when you are intoxicated your clitoris is less sensitive leaving it less likely to have an orgasm. Also for both men and women drinking more than two units a day can lower your libido. Let's face it- sexy time can be absolutely crap when there is booze involved. Yes a few glasses of vino can make you lose your inhibitions but how many of us know when enough is enough? The best sex you will ever have is when you are sober- trust me. When you are sober and getting sexy you are fully aware of what is happening and you are more sensitive to touch, plus when you are swinging from the chandelier you are less likely to feel sick.  So drink in moderation and watch your sex drive soar.  

Not Exercising:

I dunno about you but exercising is such a chore. However, it does have its plus points in the bedroom. Regular exercise can really boost your sex drive. According to research many men who exercise for an hour, three times a week have improved sexual satisfaction. Also, the fitter you are the more confident you become and the sexier you will feel. If you don't exercise then you can feel sluggish and the weight can creep on and going to bed with your partner can sometimes be the last thing on your mind. If you are not a natural gym bunny just buy a fitness DVD and get some weights for home and exercise in moderation. You will soon feel the difference in how you look and how you feel- and if you feel good you are more likely to jump between the sheets and burn some calories getting down and dirty with your partner.

Watching too Much Porn:

A lot of couples use porn to spark sexy time but it's when you start watching too much of it then that's when the problems can arise in the bedroom. Watching too many adult movies can actually mess with the signals in your brain leading them to be over-stimulated- if this happens too many times then it can actually affect your ability to become aroused. Your sex drive will soon be back to normal if you lay off the adult movies and appreciate the sexiness of your partner instead. 

At some point in our adult lives we will feel our sex drives changing- for a variety of reasons. However, as you can see from the examples above, some problems can be easily fixed and your sexy time will be back on track in no time at all.

5 Signs You Have a Happy Sex Life

MANY couples are often curious about their sex life and how it compares to the sex life of others.

In all honesty, you are able to determine, on your own, if your sex life is good, happy, and healthy.

With that said, there are some common signs that you may want to look for.  These signs, a few of which are outlined below, often signal a happy and healthy sex life.  

Are you receiving the ultimate level of satisfaction?

Sign #1 – You Have a Healthy Relationship

Couples who have a healthy relationship use communication with each other and often.  They are able to let their partners know when something is bothering them. Each partner understands that their relationship involves two fully committed individuals. Couples with happy and healthy sex lives often do not have unrealistic expectations or make excess demands on their partners.

Sign #2 – Experimentation in the Bedroom

Experimenting in the bedroom is another sign that you may have a happy and healthy sex life.  Of course, this does not mean that you and your partner have to become the next big adult movie stars, but experimentation can improve your sex life significantly.It is also important to remember that experimentation comes in a number of different formats. It can be something as simple as having sex at a different time of the day, in a different part of the house, or extended foreplay sessions. Fantasies and fetishes are fun and okay, but only if both parties agree to them.  Be sure to consult with your partner before going “overboard.”

Sign #3 – Sex is Given Freely

In many relationships, especially long-term relationships, sex can be seen as a chore. This isn’t how it should be. Sex should be something that you and your partner want, not a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled. If you and your partner are open to both spontaneously engaging in sex, you may have a happy and healthy sex life. When you have sex because you want to, as opposed to because it is your “job,” maximum benefit and pleasure is achieved.

Sign #4 – Sex Becomes a Regular Part of the Relationship

It is no secret that having an active sexual relationship can be difficult. With raising families, working, and other common duties, sex can often take a back seat. Another sign that you may have a happy and healthy sex life is if you don’t let your day to day responsibilities and duties get in the way of having sex. Regardless of how busy you are, if you still find time to have sex with your partner, you have a healthy sex life. Just be sure to remember that sex doesn’t have to be scheduled.  In fact, spontaneous sex can do wonders for a relationship.

Sign #5 – Sex is more than Just an Act

Contrary to what most people believe, sex is more than just having intercourse.  An important component of having a happy and healthy sex life is that of engaging in foreplay. Foreplay can be something as simple as holding hands or giving a relaxing massage. Love notes, kind gestures, and doing something that your partner may not expect on a daily basis are all easy ways to keep your partner interested in you, both emotionally and physically. You have a healthy and happy sex life when the romance continues on long past intercourse has come to an end.

So, do you have a happy and healthy sex life?  If a number of the above signs describes your relationship with your significant other, there is a good chance that you do.

Even if you have a happy and healthy sex life now, it is important to remember that things may change.  Remember that as time passes, it may be easier to let sex impact your relationship negatively. Be sure to always keep an open line of communication with your partner, especially where sex and their needs are concerned.

4 Easy Ways to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom This Weekend

ARE you in a relationship that seems as if it has stalled in the bedroom? 

If so, your first thought may be to end the relationship. But, what if your relationship is long-term?  What if you are married?  What if you really do love your partner?  What steps should you take then?

When it comes to being unhappy in the bedroom, it is important to know that ending a marriage or a relationship should only be used as a last resort. Instead, you will want to take steps to spice things up.  Doing so may improve more than just your intimacy, but it may do wonders for your relationship in general.

So how should you go about getting the sexy back into your relationship?

Well here are four easy ways that you can try today:

1 – Engage in Foreplay

When you do have sex, what happens?  Do you and your partner get right down to business?  If you do, that may be a huge problem.  Unfortunately, many couples do not realise that intimacy is more than just about having sex.  It is also about having a happy and healthy relationship.  If you rely on sex to make your relationship succeed, there is a very good chance that it will actually fail.

If you and your partner don’t already engage in foreplay, start doing so.  Also, remember that foreplay doesn’t have to start in the bedroom.  Call your partner, send a text message, or leave a note expressing your desires to get intimate with them later on.

2 – Be Spontaneous

When you want to have sex, what do you do?  If you actually take the time to ask your partner if they want to be intimate with you, you may be doing more harm than good.  Asking first can make being intimate seem more like a chore than something that should bring you pleasure.  The next time that you want to move to the bedroom, don’t ask first.  Just lead your partner there.  In fact, who needs a bedroom?

Know that being spontaneous is about more than not talking about sex first.  Ways that you can be spontaneous with your partner is to have sex at a different time, date, or place.  

3 – Talk About Your Fantasies

One of the biggest reasons why couples have problems with sex is because one person isn’t having their desires fulfilled.  If that is the case with you?  Does your partner know what you like or what you want to get out of being intimate?  If not, it is time for you to let them know.

Be sure to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and desires.  What would you like to try in the bedroom?  In addition to expressing your wants, needs, and darkest fantasies, be sure to let your partner do the same.  Remember that both of you should walk away from an intimate encounter pleased.

4 – Experiment in the Bedroom

Another one of the easy ways that you can spice up things in the bedroom is by experimenting. For starters, you can try a new sex position.  This may not only lead to extra pleasure, but fun and excitement.  Sex toys, romantic or naughty videos, and role playing are other good ideas for experimenting in the bedroom.

Remember that experimenting in the bedroom is a good way to spice up your intimacy, but be sure to use your best judgment.  It may be a wise decision to first discuss making changes with your partner, as you will not want to make him or her feel uncomfortable.

So there you have it!  You know have a few ideas on how you can go about spicing up things in the bedroom.  So what are you waiting for?  Get started today.

Kelly Brook is the celebrity men would most like their partner to look like

GLAMOUR girl Kelly Brook is the celebrity men would most like their partner to look like, a poll has found.

Brook's curvy figure was the number one choice for who they would like their other half to emulate - and the survey found she was also the star women would most like to resemble.

However, the poll also found that a little over half of those who were questioned did not actually want their partner to look like a celebrity at all.

Of the 2000-plus people who took part, 51% of men would not like their partner to emulate any female star and 57% of women were happy with they way they looked.

TV presenter Carol Vorderman, 53, came out as the second choice, in the survey conducted by breast implant manufacturers GC Aesthetics She was placed fourth on the list chosen by women.

Women's own second choice of celebrity looks they aspired to was the washboard abs of Olympic medallist Jessica Ennis, who came third for the men.

Celebrities men most want their partner to look like:

1. Kelly Brook

2. Carol Vorderman

3. Jessica Ennis

4. Helen Mirren

5. Kate Moss

Celebrities women most want to look like:

1. Kelly Brook

2. Jessica Ennis

3. Helen Mirren

4. Carol Vorderman

5 Kate Moss

5 Kim Kardashian

Dozens of couples celebrate Valentine's Day by tying the knot at Gretna Green

Dozens of couples celebrated Valentine's Day by tying the knot at one of the UK's most famous wedding spots.

A total of 42 ceremonies were carried out in Gretna Green, in Dumfries and Galloway, with couples travelling from across the country to make their vows.

Its popularity as a marriage venue dates back to 1754 when the Marriage Act, which required parental consent to marry under the age of 21, came into force in England and Wales.

Many young couples crossed the border to Gretna Green, the closest village, to take advantage of Scotland's lower marriage age, which remained at 16.

One couple who made the journey to Gretna today were Londoners Amerjit Walia, 52, and his now-wife Sarah, 33.

Mr Walia, a keen Sikh martial artist, carried a Gatka sword while dressed in a red tartan kilt and matching red dastar turban.

He said: "I've always wanted to wear a kilt as it's similar to what the Gatka warriors wear."
His new wife said they chose the Anvil Hall in the village as their wedding venue due to the "history, romance and symbolic nature" which suited how they felt.

Anne Downie, an exhibition guide at the Blacksmith's Shop, said that "tradition and history" are the most important reasons for people coming to Gretna Green to get married.

She added: "With young couples not being able to marry without consent in England, speed was usually of the essence, so they would come to Gretna in hot pursuit by their parents to get married."

The Anvil Hall, registration office, Blacksmith's Cottage, Mill Forge, and the many hotels in the area are all popular wedding venues.

Allan Farr, 39, and his bride Karen, 35, travelled from Hereford to tie the knot in the Blacksmith's Cottage.

Mrs Farr said: "It's a secret wedding, so no-one knows. We felt it was appropriate as it's Allan's birthday and it's Valentine's Day."

The happy couple posted a picture of themselves on Facebook once they were married to let friends and family know their news.

Around 5,000 weddings are held in the area each year, but only 20% are said to involve Scottish couples, with 60% coming over the border from England and Wales and the rest from overseas.

Another couple to get married today were Mark Blincow, 26, from Inverness, and his wife Siobhan, 25, from Bedfordshire.

They chose Gretna due to the romantic history behind the town. They plan to travel to Sri Lanka with their family later this year for their honeymoon.

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day on a Budget

VALENTINE'S day is supposed to be about celebrating true love and making that special person in your life feel wanted and cared for.

However, it's also one of the most commercialised days of the year where you feel pressurised into buying overpriced flowers, stuffed toys and greetings cards.

But you don't have to let this romantic day of the year hit you hard in the pocket, instead remember it is all about giving your partner an experience to remember and not about how far your funds will stretch.

You can have a fantastic and more memorable Valentine's day on a budget.

It is still possible to indulge in all those heart shaped accessories and still save money. You just have to reduce the amount you buy. For example don't buy him the biggest bottle of aftershave on the shelf, instead just downsize and buy the bottle size below. Instead of getting a huge box of expensive chocolates for your other half why not buy them a special brand of chocolate bar instead?

You could even just skip the gifts altogether and instead do something that the pair of you have never done before. You could try a drive-in movie which is the latest romantic craze or you could wrap up warm and head off in the car for a long walk followed by a pub dinner or lunch.

How about re-enacting your very first date together? The chances are it wasn't too over the top but very romantic. Taking a trip down memory lane can also be fun and spark intimacy between you.

The best way of celebrating the day of love without breaking the bank is organising a cosy night at home together. Prepare a special meal for your partner but one that fits your budget. Have a look online to get some ideas for recipes that you can use with simple ingredients that will make them taste amazing. Set the mood with a playlist of music that you know your partner will like. You could also snuggle up and watch each other's favourite movie before heading to the bedroom for dessert.

If you really want to go out, whether that be for a candlelit dinner or romantic night away, then have a look at some of the voucher websites which can have some cracking deals at this time of the year with some discounting as much as 50 per cent.

Or you could choose an intimate restaurant or bistro that's outside the city which will probably charge less than city centre places. That way you get a drive in the country and a lovely romantic meal at the end of it.

One of the most romantic gestures which is completely free is allocating time to spend with each other without any interruptions such as kids, working late or mobile phones. The good thing is Valentine's day falls on a Friday this year which means you could make the Saturday a day for just the both of you to spend time together.

If you have been taking your relationship for granted recently then it is the perfect time to reconnect and remember all the good reasons why you are both together. If you can't get a babysitter then make sure the kids know it is a special day for mummy and daddy and let them help by getting them to make cards or let them help you bake some romantic cupcakes.

Another money saving tip is not to bother buying champagne for your special night together. Why not pop the Prosecco instead? A good bottle of bubbly Prosecco will cost you half of what champers will and it tastes just as good, if not better.

Another fun way to personalise Valentine's day without it costing a fortune is to make some love vouchers. Each one should contain a promise. They can be straight forward ones such as a coupon which will allow your partner to watch his favourite boxed set that month or you can get all sexy and give him a voucher promising him the night of his life.

If you have just started dating someone new then keep things simple, light and fun not romantic and sappy as you don't want to scare them off with cards which say: 'I Love you'. Instead go out for a bite to eat then choose a fun activity to do like crazy golf or ten pin bowling.

The best gift of all is telling your other half you love them. It costs nothing to say those three little words but hearing them will make your partner feel like most important person in your life.

Just because you are strapped for cash doesn't mean you can't have a fantastic time. In fact the less money you spend the more creative you can be and the better the memories you will create.

How Much Will You Spend on Your Partner This Valentine's Day?

ALMOST a third of people who are in a relationship spend absolutely nothing on Valentine's Day gifts, according to a survey.

While 29.1% spend nothing, another quarter (25%) spend £20 or less, and almost half of those who do buy gifts (45%) buy them either the day before or on their way to see their partner, the poll for Give as you Live charity shopping platform found.

Meanwhile, Carlisle and Dumfries and Galloway have been named the most romantic places in the UK, according to Royal Mail.

Residents in the CA and DG postcodes topped the list after Royal Mail analysed mail volumes in its centres last year, comparing post sent on February 6 and February 13.

The Carlisle mail centre, which serves the CA and DG postcodes, saw the largest percentage increase (32%) , while residents in the CF postcode saw a 30% increase, followed by those in London, Norwich and Kent.

Carlisle Mail Centre manager Vivienne Dalton said: "I'm delighted to declare people of Cumbria alongside Dumfries and Galloway as the most romantic places in the UK.

"Valentine's Day is a busy time for us so we would remind people to send their cards in good time so we can deliver your message to your loved one in time for February 14."

Romford claimed the title of the UK's most romantic town last year but has now slipped to ninth place.