Saturday, 29 June 2013

It Doesn't Matter if You Don't Look Like Angelina Jolie- Just be Confident but Feminine

If you asked most women what type of girl men go for and couldn’t live without they would probably tell you it would be an Angelina Jolie look alike or she would have to have blonde hair, blue eyes, huge boobs and killer legs like Pamela Anderson.

Yeah this type of woman definately gets a lot of male attention but she isn’t actually the type of woman guys ultimatlely want.

Happy days I hear most of you say. Yes it is indeed good news for a lot of us ladies. Men are indeed visual creatures whose head turn at the mere sight of a hot girl but you would be surprised to find out how much more guys actually want from a woman.

For example, a team of sociologists conducted a study, trying to understand if there was a common denominator that men found attractive in women; that one thing that would get any guy to want to go over and talk to a girl.

You would never guess what the result was. No, it wasn’t her breasts, her legs or her bum. In fact, it wasn’t any body part below her chin and it wasn’t her features, either. It was her smile. The majority of men stated that they found nothing as attractive as a woman’s smile.

The point of this revelation is that you have to put your preconceived notions and the rules society has beaten into you all to one side. You need to understand that fundamentally, men and women are different and it’s alright to be a woman who doesn’t look like a Hollywood hottie first thing in the morning.

The golden rule is take care of your appearance and be confident in yourself; and as I’ve mentioned in previous posts if you aren’t a confident person then learn to fake it until that feeling becomes a reality.

Also please don’t be afraid to behave like a feminine woman. So many women go about acting like ball-breakers, maintaining: “I’m an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to take care of me.” If that is the attitude you have, and one I used to have, then I’m afraid you are giving out the wrong vibe to guys and they will ultimately stay away.

Society may have placed men and women on equal footing in the workplace and perhaps some other areas of our lives but when it comes to relationships please don’t be afraid to let your partner take control once in awhile.

Women are often afraid to be women, to appear feminine or vulnerable because they equate it with being weak. However, quite the opposite is true, because a woman who is in tune with herself and shows her vulnerability wields much more power over a man than if she were to constantly act tough. He would soon get bored with a ball-breaker.

Once you allow your inner woman to shine through then you will become the girl that all men adore and can’t live without.

Thursday, 27 June 2013

15 Tips for MEN on How to Be a Better Boyfriend or Husband

The other day I gave girls some pointers on how to be a better girlfriend so today guys it's your turn.

You will only have a good relationship if it's based on great teamwork- It takes two to make things awesome.

That's right guys that means you have to put some effort into your relationship as well to make things work otherwise you might just see your gorgeous girl head off into the sunset with someone else.

So here are 15 tips on how to become a better partner:

1) Tell her you LOVE her. It's not rocket science. If you genuinely love your partner then tell her as often as you can. Tell her when you wake up in the morning and the last thing at night. If you never tell your woman you love her then shame on you.

2) Be affectionate: Give her a cuddle. Hold her hand. Sex isn't the only physical way to show someone how much you care about them.

3) Tell her how beautiful she is. If you are going out on the town then tell her how pretty she looks or how sexy her outfit is. Women dress to impress their men. Show her you appreciate it.

4) Do not ogle other women when you are with your girlfriend or wife. It is completely disrespectful. If you do have a wandering eye then you really shouldn't be with your current woman. Everyone looks now and again as it is only natural but when you are with your partner you should be 100% committed to her.

5) Keep things spicy in the bedroom. Try new sex positions. Put your partner's orgasm first before you enjoy the moment. Make her feel sexy and treat her like she is the only woman in the world you desire. Do not force her to do anything she doesn't want to. Just because you watch a porn film don't expect your partner to behave like that.

6) Communicate more with her. Guys like to bottle things up and not share their thoughts as much. You are never going to have a successful relationship by keeping your feelings to yourself. Tell her about your day. Tell her about your past and your dreams for the future. She is supposed to be your best friend.

7) Make sure you try and spend at least one day of your weekend where is it just you and your partner. It's important to have quality time together. It may not always be possible to do this but try. Also at night make sure you allow at least a couple of hours to chill with each other.

8) Be romantic: Send her flowers. Cook her a nice meal. Decorate your home in candles and snuggle up. Take her for walk along the beach or in a nice park. Buy her lingerie. Leave her romantic notes around the house.

9) Talk to her on the phone. It's unbelievable how many couples don't talk to each other on the phone anymore. Instead people just text and email. You will never survive longterm if this is how you carry on as you will never be as close as people who actually call each other up and TALK. Plus in texts and emails people's tone can come across all wrong which can lead to arguments.

10) Realise that when Mother Nature comes calling every month that she may turn into a bit of a nightmare. Her hormones will be all over the place and she will probably be in some discomfort. Give her a break. If she snaps at you as she really won't mean it.

11) If you play computer games and watch football on the TV all the time then this will not lead to a very happy relationship. Yes we all have to have our 'me' time but if that is what you are doing every night when you get home from work then trust me your relationship is in trouble.

12) Treat her the way you would want to be treated.

13) Be faithful. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or wife then end the relationship as she really does deserve to find someone better than you.

14) Treat her now and again. Every month buy her a wee gift. Buy her a nice meal. It doesn't have to cost you the earth but a wee treat is a nice gesture and it shows you are thinking of her and you know what she likes.

15) If you have kids together then remember there is a woman there who isn't just a mum. She too wants to be remembered as the girl you fell in love with. Make the effort to do things together that you did before children came along.

Monday, 24 June 2013

How to be a Better Girlfriend

If you are in a relationship and it just doesn't seem to be going as well as it should, maybe you need to learn how to be a better girlfriend.

The way to be a good girlfriend is to first know who you are as a person and be confident in that knowledge. In other words, you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first.

If you are already there then you shouldn't have any problems being an equal partner in a committed relationship. If you find you still need some assistance, the following information should help.

When learning how to be better girlfriends there are some things to keep in mind:

1)     Treat your boyfriend exactly how you would like to be treated.

2)     Do not take him for granted but don't be a doormat either.

3)     If you live together there should be an equal division of housework. Never presume that just because he's the guy he should be the one to take out the rubbish or fix the leaky sink.

4)      If things are not going as well as they should it is possible that the communication between you has broken down somewhat? In that case, try to pick up on whatever it is that may be bothering him.

5)     Listen to the things he says or, more importantly, the things he doesn't say. Maybe he is feeling a little under-appreciated and then all you have to do is pay more attention to him or let him have a little space.

6)     Tell him you want him to go have a night out with the guys. He will appreciate this and start to feel like his needs are important to you just like yours are to him and the relationship will once again be on an equal footing.

7)     Take an interest in the things that are important to him, even if you don't get it. Sports, cars, sci-fi movies, whatever. Try to be interested, at least for a while, ask a question or two and then you can safely go about your own business. Or, if you really are interested stay and learn all you can about what he is doing. You might find a hidden interest and he might like teaching you something new.

8)     A good relationship is based on love, trust, and mutual respect. If you don't trust him, the relationship probably won't last for very long. If you find you have trust issues the best way to overcome them is to talk to him and try to resolve them. If you get jealous every time he wants to go out with the guys, it is probably your baggage and not his. Work on unloading that baggage before you enter into a relationship then you won't have issues during the relationship.

Relationships do take some work to be successful but the issues, if any, should not be all-consuming. There has to be time for the fun stuff, too.

If you follow the tips I have just given you on how to be a better girlfriend then you will be appreciated more by him and not considered to be a doormat or a nag.

Good Luck!

Saturday, 22 June 2013

When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

A break up is painful experience and difficult to deal with on so many levels as I mentioned in a previous post. The end of a close relationship, an intimate friendship, the dreams that were shared with the significant other are just few things which are lost.

When are you really ready to move on to a new relationship without the trauma of the past relation?

Below is a list of points to reflect on:

  1. Your significant other from the past no longer occupies your thoughts constantly. You cannot move ahead with a new person if you are mentally focused on someone else. During a break up your main thoughts are occupied by the ex – what could have happened, what if things were somehow different, and what if you had not made a mistake, what if there was something you should have said? Once these thoughts of past relationship have slowly disappeared it will no longer be the primary force in your life. 
  1. You no longer get all worked up and upset when dealing with your ex. There will surely come a time when dealing with your ex will become easier and much less emotional. You will be dealing with just another annoying person. 
  1. You have stopped trying to please your ex. Once a break up has occurred all obligations to please are over. You no longer do the special things you used to do for them. Favours like washing the car or doing the laundry are no longer obligatory. 
  1. Your conversations with friends do not include your ex anymore. We all tend to think and speak about the most important things in our lives. If you are no longer talking about your ex it means you can move on. 
  1. The romantic feelings are all gone. We all harbour feelings towards our ex just after a break up. When they subside it means you have recovered considerably. 
  1. You can accept the fact that your ex may have a new romantic partner. There is not a feeling of jealousy because the emotional tie has worn off. 
  1. You no longer get angry at your ex. During a break up everyone feels intensely angry. When former partners no longer evoke anger that means you have become detached emotionally. 
  1. When you can delete you Ex from your phone, Facebook & Twitter and come to terms with never seeing them again or talking  to them again then that usually means you are fully committed  to moving forward with your life and finding  the partner of your dreams. 
You must wait and reflect on your break-up until you get over some of these feelings and attachments I have listed. Everyone goes through them during a break up and it's only natural to feel a certain way.

You just have to be positive and believe there is a new relationship on the horizon and one that is better than you have previously experienced.

Life will be good again; you just have to embrace it. 

Friday, 21 June 2013

Is There Life After a Break Up? Hell Yes

A break up is horrific. There are no two ways about it. If someone dumps you and you didn't see it coming it can devastate you physically and mentally.

A lot of people find it really difficult to survive after splitting up with their partners. In the weeks and months that follow a break up they will be filled with tears and anxiety. You won't be able to sleep properly and when you finally fall over you will wake in the morning and within five seconds of you opening your eyes you will feel the wave of devastation hit you once again. Each day you will replay in your head ways in which you could have done things differently in the relationship. You will pine after your partner and wish you could just hide away under the duvet.

HOWEVER, there is life after a break up. Almost all of the time a break up signals the way forward for a better relationship and the arrival of someone who IS right for you.

It is natural to feel devastated due to a broken relationship. However, this does not mean that there is nothing left for you to start your life again. There is hope. So do not give up. Surviving a break up may seem to be a tough task for you. It is tough but not impossible. Remember that you had a life and a happy one before your ex entered into your life.

Once you know that that your relationship is over and there are no chances to rebuild it, stop mourning and start living. Crying, mourning and feeling depressed will be normal. 

However, make sure that you do not overdo it.

There are several things that can make you feel better again.

  1. Talk to your friends and family. Talking to them and opening your heart can be really helpful to come out of depression.

  2. Get fit and lose some weight. Feeling good about yourself is the best medicine for a break up. Get a new hair cut or new clothes.

  3. Delete your ex from your phone, Facebook & Twitter accounts. You have to cut ties.

  4. Try and keep busy- go out with friends, go for a walk, throw yourself into work or a hobby.

  5. Don't jump straight into a rebound relationship. It's natural to want to feel loved and wanted by someone but in the long run it is a bad idea as you need time to heal properly.

  6. Cry all you want. Trust me the tears will stop eventually.

  7. Watch self-help DVDs and read positive books like inspiring biographies.

  8. Believe you will find love again because you will. You will meet someone new and it will be better than your last relationship. You just have to allow yourself time to heal and decide exactly what you want from a partnership.

Remember that after all the mourning, crying and sleepless nights, it is finally time to get over with the relationship and the memories associated with it.

You need to devote this time to a lot of other things that make you feel better.

Life after a break up exists but only if you want it to. There are many people who have survived broken relationships and have found their soul-mates.

You can do the same. 

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

15 Big Mistakes Men Make in a Relationship

Recently I've been giving women lots of advice on how to keep their man happy but relationships are a team effort and the guys have a huge role to play in keeping the romance and fun alive too.

So guys I have come up with a list of common mistakes that can kill a relationship.

Please avoid:

  1. Not investing enough time in your relationship. Quality time is crucial to grow a proper partnership.

  2. Orgasming first all the time. Women take longer to climax and it takes a bit of effort from you to make that happen. Don't be selfish in the bedroom as it's not fair.

  3. Never tell any woman that she has put on weight, even if you think it only makes her sexier, keep quiet.

  4. "Housework" is not just for women. You can learn how to do laundry, vacuum the house and wash the dishes too.

  5. Your partner is NOT your Mum and is not there to pick up after you all the time and have your dinner on the table at 5pm every night.

  6. Thinking everything is about you and for you. Don't be so selfish.

  7. Storming out of an argument without an agreement.

  8. Not listening to and supporting your partner's ideas even if you don't believe in them.

  9. Constantly bad mouthing her family. You knew who they were before you became totally committed to her and whether you like it or not they are there to stay. Please remember that blood is thicker than water.

  10. Not learning to be emotionally available. Women aren't asking you to stop being a man, just talk about who you are, where you came from, past history and future dreams. It's not rocket science.

  11. Don't nag at her for spending the whole day and a fortune in a beauty salon.

  1. Never criticise her cooking skills, even in the most delicate way.

  2. Never praise another woman's looks if your if your girlfriend is around. Your girlfriend is concerned about her body, no matter how perfect she seems to you.

  3. Don't take your girlfriend to sports matches unless she likes that kind of thing. She will be bored shittless otherwise.

  4. And finally try and avoid conflict. The truth is we are all different. That's what makes each one of us special. We can't agree on everything but don't make everything into an argument.

Monday, 17 June 2013

Top 10 List of Things WOMEN Should & Shouldn’t do in a Relationship

Ladies there is so much to learn about creating a good, satisfying relationship with the man you love.

To help you out I have put together a couple of lists of things you should do in a partnership and things you really shouldn’t do.

I  guarantee if you follow the steps below it will give you a good grounding to the perfect romance.


1. When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible.
2. Trust and respect him.
3. Stop nagging.
4. Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree.
5. Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so.
6. Make love creatively and often. Don’t be afraid to initiate lovemaking.
7. Honour any agreements you have made with him.
8. Support his goals and direction.
9. Ask for what you want! (Believe it or not, no matter how much he loves you, he really can’t read your mind.)
10. Accept his “No” gracefully, trusting that he would if he could.


1. Go to bed angry with your partner.
2. Insist he always share his feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women need.
3. Attempt to talk to him during a good movie or sporting event.
4. Continue to “give” in what you perceive is a lopsided relationship when you are at a point of resentment.
5. Criticise him or put him down, especially the things he does.
6. Scold your partner as if he were a child.
7. Use sex as a prize for good behaviour or the withholding of sex as punishment for “bad” behaviour.
8. Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama and find him lacking.
9. Violate his privacy.
10. Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now.

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Top Ten Lists of What MEN Should and Shouldn't Do in a Relationship

Relationships are like roller coaster rides. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad.

Below is my Top 10 Lists of things MEN should and shouldn't do in a relationship.


1. Just listen to your partner without offering advice.

2. Trust and respect her.

3. Treat her as an equal partner in your relationship.

4. Stay and support her when she gets emotional. She is looking for understanding, not solutions.

5. Continue your courtship even after she ís committed to you. Continue to create romance in your relationship.

6. Do little things on a regular basis. A woman doesn’t care if you call her at work to say, ìI love you or if you buy a new TV for the living room. The small things are worth just as much as the big ones.

7. Honour any agreements you have made with her.

8. Encourage her goals and direction.

9. Find out what your partner would like to do and then do it with her.

10. Say I'm sorry when you've done something you regret or that was hurtful to your partner, whether intentionally or unintentionally.


1. Go to bed angry with your partner.

2. Try to offer advice or solutions when your partner just needs you to listen to her without comment.

3. Pretend to listen to her when you really aren't.

4. Shut your partner out when you need to sort things out in your head. Just explain you need space, you aren't angry with your partner and that you'll be back.

5. Criticise your partner, especially her appearance.

6. Shout at your partner.

7. Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as You NEVER listen to me; when what she really means is that you aren't listening to her at that time.

8. Allow jealousy to kill the trust, love and respect of your relationship.

9. Violate her privacy.

10. Forget special occasions.

Men and women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges.

Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future.

Saturday, 15 June 2013

10 Top Tips to Make Your Relationship Last

What's the key to a successful relationship I hear you ask?

Sometimes it's just the simple things that we easily forget or think are unimportant that hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship.

Here are my top 10 tips to relationship happiness:

1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least an hour a night, and at least four days a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the bedroom and try new places. The introduction of sex toys into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get too dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance between the two.

9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10. Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turn a bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that.

Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work. 

Friday, 14 June 2013

Keep Your Man By Being a Confident Girlfriend

To be a confident girlfriend you first need to be a confident woman.

Although appearing insecure and frightened may appeal to some men for most they run a mile from needy, insecure women.

When a woman is insecure she will constantly worry about losing her man and will become very possessive off him. She will constantly question him and want to know where he is and what he is doing all the time. A man will soon become tired of this behaviour and more often than not dump his girl.

Instead, it is best to be confident, smart and independent and he will be proud to be your partner and find you very sexy.

If you aren't a confident women then it is up to you to FAKE being confident. Once you practice being confident it will just become second nature and before you know it you will become confident.

If you feel that you are insecure and get very jealous then there are some questions that you need to ask yourself so you can become more confident:

  1. Why are you so jealous?

  2. Is there a reason to be jealous?

  3. Has your boyfriend been unfaithful and caused you to lose trust in him?

  4. Does your boyfriend flirt with other girls just to make you jealous?

  5. Have you been cheated on by a previous boyfriend?

  6. Or are you just an insecure person and always have been?

You need to ask yourself these questions and find out the reason for your jealousy and insecurity. Only when you find the reason can you fix it.

In some cases you may have been confident in the past but for some reason have become insecure within your relationship. This can happen if you and your boyfriend are on different levels when it comes to relationships. You may feel that you love him more than he loves you or you need him more than he needs you. If you have these feelings then it is natural that you will begin to feel insecure.

These insecurities can deepen the problem and when he knows you are insecure he may begin to love you or need you less. Sometimes it may be a big misconception that you believe you love him more than he loves you and if you talk to him about it you might find that it isn't the case.

If you can learn to be confident again then you will once again be the confident person he first fell in love with and this can bring back the spark and the love in the relationship.

Be confident and keep your man!

Thursday, 13 June 2013

20 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Committing to a Longterm Reltationship

At some stage in our lives we all want a longterm relationship.

We want a partner to share our adventures with and one who will love us no matter what.

The first few years of a relationship are supposed to be happy times filled with laughs and shared moments that create memories for a lifetime. However, relationships take a bit of work to keep them on track and if you are looking for a happy ever after then you have to ask yourself some questions about your partner.

It takes years to make a relationship work. At the very beginning, you should be clear about what you want from your partner and what you think you can do for him/her.

The very thought of being with this same person all your life might frighten you but give yourself time to review things and then decide if they are the right person for you.

Below are 20 questions that you need to ask yourself before getting into a long term relationship:

  1. Are you both compatible? Are you ready to adjust to his/her mindset?

  2. Do you completely trust your partner?

  3. Do you find them sexually attractive?

  4. Do they make you laugh?

  5. Do they support you through difficult times?

  6. Do they treat you how you always dreamed of being treated in a relationship?

  7. Do they take your feelings into consideration when making decisions?

  8. Do they make you feel secure in your relationship?

  9. Does the person you plan to spend your life with acknowledge, appreciate and respect your dreams?

  10. Are you willing to accept his/her family? 

  11. Does your partner accept your family?

  12. Do you feel comfortable enough to reveal your secrets to them?

  13. Is he/she a smothering person in your relationship?

  14. Do you both want to get married?

  15. Will you be able to retain your individual identity even after marriage?

  16. Do you both want kids?

  17. Do you both have similar takes on how you would like to bring your child up?

  18. Will you be having separate bank accounts or a joint account?

  19. How do you plan to manage your finances?

  20. Who will be doing household tasks such as the housework and paying bills?

When answering theses questions you have to be truthful with how you feel about your partner.

If by the end of the questions you aren't happy with the state of your relationship then the biggest question of all is: Should I stay with this person for the rest of my life?

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

10 Signs You're Ready for a Relationship

  1. The first thing you need to be is to be ready to have some fun with somebody. Nobody wants to be with a boring person, so be ready to enjoy a relationship. 
  1. Understand that you need to be in a different relationship than the past ones you had. Remember they failed; you don't want to repeat that. Don't stick with something because it was fun, if you just want a repetition you are not being open for newer things to happen!

  2. Make sure you keep your exes out of your mind and whatever you did together. Your new date is not going to be the same and that is both good and bad. Accept this quickly and get ready for something new! 
  1. Be patient and wait for the right person to drop in to, remember you might want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. You just cannot make it happen instantly. Most people find that person when they least expect it. 
  1. Be a positive and upbeat person. Nobody wants to be with an intensely negative person. Positive vibes definitely attract. Be comfortable the way you are and you'll see things just get better! 
  1. If you suffer from the most common syndrome everybody has – thinking they don't look good enough then change that look! A person who has low self esteem because of their looks finds someone who actually likes that look, you don't want to go changing right away!! 
  1. Think practically. If your job is taking all your time then wait for the right time to get into a relationship. If you are just beginning a career then you are probably not ready for a relationship. 
  1. You will not be able to hide your bad habits for a long time. So scrutinize yourself properly, your significant other will point them out to you soon enough, and you don't want to get angry, do you?! 
  1. Try and understand what it was in the previous relationship what could not survive long term, from both sides. It's not about being right or wrong, you just need to be aware because the same things might come up again. 

  1. Remember that there is another person who will have an equal say for the relationship to actually work. The other person should be respected and treated nicely, don't doom your relationships by disrespecting the other person.