Saturday, 22 June 2013

When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

A break up is painful experience and difficult to deal with on so many levels as I mentioned in a previous post. The end of a close relationship, an intimate friendship, the dreams that were shared with the significant other are just few things which are lost.

When are you really ready to move on to a new relationship without the trauma of the past relation?

Below is a list of points to reflect on:

  1. Your significant other from the past no longer occupies your thoughts constantly. You cannot move ahead with a new person if you are mentally focused on someone else. During a break up your main thoughts are occupied by the ex – what could have happened, what if things were somehow different, and what if you had not made a mistake, what if there was something you should have said? Once these thoughts of past relationship have slowly disappeared it will no longer be the primary force in your life. 
  1. You no longer get all worked up and upset when dealing with your ex. There will surely come a time when dealing with your ex will become easier and much less emotional. You will be dealing with just another annoying person. 
  1. You have stopped trying to please your ex. Once a break up has occurred all obligations to please are over. You no longer do the special things you used to do for them. Favours like washing the car or doing the laundry are no longer obligatory. 
  1. Your conversations with friends do not include your ex anymore. We all tend to think and speak about the most important things in our lives. If you are no longer talking about your ex it means you can move on. 
  1. The romantic feelings are all gone. We all harbour feelings towards our ex just after a break up. When they subside it means you have recovered considerably. 
  1. You can accept the fact that your ex may have a new romantic partner. There is not a feeling of jealousy because the emotional tie has worn off. 
  1. You no longer get angry at your ex. During a break up everyone feels intensely angry. When former partners no longer evoke anger that means you have become detached emotionally. 
  1. When you can delete you Ex from your phone, Facebook & Twitter and come to terms with never seeing them again or talking  to them again then that usually means you are fully committed  to moving forward with your life and finding  the partner of your dreams. 
You must wait and reflect on your break-up until you get over some of these feelings and attachments I have listed. Everyone goes through them during a break up and it's only natural to feel a certain way.

You just have to be positive and believe there is a new relationship on the horizon and one that is better than you have previously experienced.

Life will be good again; you just have to embrace it.